Two Under Two: Sharing a Room

Well, I'm giving it a try again tonight. Last night I put the kids to bed in the same room and it went pretty well. Things have been rough for the last week with AJ's sleep. She's been busting out of her swaddle and a few nights I got up nearly 15 times to fix it and pop in the pacifier. Can you say ZOMBIE?

Anyway, back to a shared room. I've had her travel pack n' play in "Mogi's" room for a few weeks and she lays in it to play at times. But, last night I laid her down in it at 8pm, her usual bedtime, and she laid there watching us as Mogi finished his evening story time and then went to bed at 8:30. It all went smoothly. I did her "dream feed" at 9:30 with no problem.

And then I didn't hear a peep until 4am! A nice change from 12am, 1am, 3am.... you get the idea :)

The swaddle was loose, so I refastened, popped in the paci and climbed back into bed. At 6am she started to fuss and I moved her to her own crib in the next room. It turned out to only be a blip of belly gas, but I didn't want Mogi awakened.

She started her day at 7:15 and Mogi woke at 7:45. Not too shabby for a first try with no idea what I'm doing!!

But, I figure, even if they don't have an appreciation for it now, they will soon enough. I remember sharing a room with my younger brother for a few years when we were little and it was great.

Today they did a naptime together, since they both go down at 1p for a few hours. Mogi woke up a little early and awoke sister, but it wasn't bad. And they're back down for the night.

So, moms and dads out there, got any tips for room sharing?? Are there any unforeseen pitfalls I should look out for?? Help a mama out!!

You're One Crazy Kid

My Mogi boy can be a wild man. He's just a stereotypical boy. Fearless, loud, rowdy, fast. Pick any testosterone induced adjective and he'd probably fit it. But, as much as he may wear me out from being a speed demon and all the rest, I always know that when bedtime comes he'll be fast asleep. Thankfully, sleep is not an issue unless he's sick or severely teething and both are a rarity. He's always down by 8pm and generally sleeps until 8am.

So, imagine my surprise (ummm... frustration) when after waking at 6:30am in hopes of getting coffee, my Bible reading, a shower, and feeding AJ done before his 8am wake up, I hear him calling my name at 6:45. What???

Now, every once in a while he'll wake up early, talk to himself and fall back asleep, but calling my name at that hour? So, I attempted to ignore him for a bit, but by 7am it was apparent something was off. So, I entered his room hoping I could give him his stuffed animal and get him to lay down a bit longer.

Except... guess what I found? A NAKED boy! Okay, so he wasn't REALLY naked. He was wearing socks after all. Yeah, you read that right. I put him to bed in full pajamas and found him standing in his crib with his diaper on the floor and his pajamas at his ankles. Only his socks were where I'd left them! I sure hope he wasn't like that all night!

It was so shocking it was comical. I don't suppose I'll ever know what caused him to strip, but I'm guessing that he played with the zipper and pulled it undone and then found the Velcro on his diaper and took it off. Anyway, his diaper was soaked and he'd also left "his mark" on the sheets.

What a way to start the day! Do you have a story of finding your child less clothed than when you left them?

Two Under Two, the reality of it all

When we decided to have our children close together it was mostly based on the fact that Hubs and I both have siblings close in age. Although I'm big into doing my research, there wasn't much info on having a second child and how that works out at home. Some people asked me how I would continue working on my PhD and I told them I didn't know. And really, I didn't. (Side note: I still don't have any idea how to get back into it, but that's another post.) I read a few magazine articles here and there on the pros and cons of various sibling age differences, but that was about it.

So, in an attempt to add to the conversation on having Two Kids Under Two, here are some excerpts from our life the last few months.

The first few weeks went dreamily. The grandparents were a constant presence, Hubs took a week off work, and Mogi barely acknowledged his sister. I really think he thought she was a toy or accessory of some type. She clearly didn't "move fast enough" for him and his always on the move kind of ways, so he just ignored her. AJ ate and slept and nothing else. If she was awake she then easily slipped into sleep without a trouble or care. She didn't cry and occasionally made adorable kitten-like sounds.

But, of course, newborns do wake from their foggy state. And grandparents go home. And husbands go to work. And when that happens there is a grand potential for all kinds of things to "break loose" and "hit the fan".

Eventually, Mogi not only realized AJ was staying around, he also began to see her as a competitor for our affection. The little boy who wouldn't stop long enough to sit in your lap was now begging and crying to be picked up and held! And, of course, it would come to a boiling point when I was home alone with the two of them : ) [Hence, Molly's Laws of Motherhood] I was glad to have Mogi showing more affection but it was such a drastic change that I couldn't manage it well.

I was also functioning on sleep deprivation mode. You always hear new moms being told "Sleep when the baby sleeps." But that only work for first time moms because even though AJ might have been sleeping, Mogi was still wide awake and ready to tear the house apart at any moment- did I mention he's a climber and thrower if given the chance? So, my longest stretch of sleep was four hours for five or six weeks after having had horrible sleep through the last trimester of my pregnancy. I could not begin to think straight.

But, the light finally began to appear at the end of the tunnel. AJ's daily routine got more predictable and consistent. She started going down easier for naps and at night. She started sleeping a longer stretch at night, sometimes over 8 hours. And Mogi stopped seeing AJ as competition. He started to laugh and smile at her when she made funny noises or made eye contact with him.

So, what would I tell someone if they asked for some tips? Here's a few things...

1. Even if your life is completely laid back with child #1 and you do nothing predictably, create some routines before #2 arrives. It will help #1 have some things to feel very secure about and it will make life easier on you when you can't think straight.
Mornings and bedtime are written in stone around here. They always happen the exact same way in order to make sure all that needs to get done does get done. A lot of it has to do with my kids personalities and needs but I can have both kids fed, dressed and in the car, ready to go in less than an hour in the morning. And with the evenings being a fussy time for most newborns its great to work out plans for dinner and bath times. I also need this kind of order because there are times I have both kids on my own due to Hubs work rotations.

2. Get a piece of furniture big enough, and small enough, for the three of you. One of the first nights that I had both kids on my own I sat down in the rocking chair to feed AJ and moments later Mogi came up with a book in his hands begging to get into my lap. It was heart breaking. At 30 lbs I couldn't pull Mogi onto my lap one-handed if I needed to, but there wasn't room for him either. The next day I dragged a love seat into the nursery and took the legs off so Mogi can climb up and down without worrying about him falling. It's nothing fancy, just a $20 Cr@igslist find, but so worth it. Now Mogi can climb up next to me and bring the books with him!

3. Consider potty training. I'm not saying you need to potty train #1 before #2 arrives, but if you wait until #2 arrives it may not work. You can hear about toddlerhood and all the emotional changes that take place, but until it really happens, you have no idea. It was if someone flipped a switch one day and I woke up to a boy that no longer was thrilled to have my praise but instead was determined to do things his way. Now he wasn't perfect boy before this switch, but positive attention and praise often swayed his behavior. It doesn't work as well now and "I DO!" is now his favorite phrase. So, if you think you'll start potty training #1 after #2 is born, realize that between toddlerhood and the demands of a newborn it may take a lot more work than you expect.

4. Make good sleep habits a priority. Do you remember the first time your first child slept a rediculously long stretch at night? I do. It was as if life had begun again. I could put him to bed, get a few things done, go to bed and wake up the next day rested! Well, reaching that point is no less spectacular the second time around. I've relied heavily on the "Sleep Training" methods layed out in the Baby Whisperer's books. A swaddle, the "shush-pat", and a good lullaby are priceless!

5. Baby needs her space. I'd planned on AJ sleeping beside me at night in a bassinet and had a crib for her in the "Kid's Room" with Mogi's crib, but I quickly realized that it was unrealistic to think she could nap in the room while he was in there playing. And due to Hub's work rotations, she couldn't sleep in my room every day of the week. She needed her own place. So, I made some space for her in my office. It's not ideal, its a little too close to the commotion of the guest bathroom and I have to work very quietly if she's napping, but its working. So, even though kids can share a room once nap schedules coincide, until then they need a quiet space. But, let me be honest, the thought of sharing my office for the next year or so doesn't sound so appealing : /

Anyway, that's all the "wisdom" I have for now. I'd love to hear any stories from the "trenches" from those who also have two close in age, no matter what age they are now.

And as a reward for reaching the end of this very long post, here's a little happy moment from Potty Training Land : )

Newborn Schedule at 2 Months

First, if you hate the word 'schedule' used with kids or babies, don't get yourself too worked up. I've never refused to feed my child because she woke "too" early from a nap or woke her up to eat because it was 5 minutes past her "wake time". Instead, I use the schedule as a type of routine to help me know what I need to get done when so I can meet my obligations and give her the care she needs.

So, here's what an idyllic day looks like in AJ's World:

7:40a Wake her up to start the day and have her first feeding, whether she's awake or not
8:00 Change diaper and head off to get Big Brother Mogi out of bed and dressed.
8:15 Hang out in kitchen while others eat breakfast
8:50 Swaddle and lay her in crib to (hopefully) lull herself asleep for a nap. If I don't pay attention to her and how long she's been up I potentially wait too long and she's strung out and needs a lot of calming to be able to sleep. being able to lay her down and essentially " walk away" is much easier on all of us.
11a & 2p Routine starts over
(Basically I follow the E.A.S.Y. routine from the Baby Whisperer and adjust how soon she goes down for her nap based on her behavior; red eyes, glazed stare, jerky movements, yawning...)
5p Feed and change diaper
5:30 hang out in kitchen while family has dinner
6:15 Swaddle and down for rest/nap time whether she falls asleep or not.
7:00 Feed AGAIN
7:30 Bath, diaper and dress.
8:15 Swaddle and lay in crib to fall asleep on own.
8:45 usually asleep by this time
9:45 "Dream Feed"  This is another Baby Whisperer method: without waking her I gently take her from crib, still swaddled, and feed her until she stops eating. If she's too sound asleep to eat, that means I waited too long to feed her. Disturbing her sleep will only mess up her night sleep and cause her to wake at night when I don't want her to.
-Hopefully she'll sleep until morning, but she could also need a feeding at 5am or so.

A few caveats: if I have to be somewhere I'll wake AJ early and feed her so we can get there, or feed her extra before her nap so if she does wake while we're out she's not starving and mad. Also, since its a 3 hour routine, I never let her sleep longer than a 3 hour stretch during the day. This isn't likely to happen, but if she was disturbed previously and only got a brief nap and went down early after eating, it could happen. A lot of people say "don't wake a sleeping baby" but I disagree and think at some point you should wake them. That way they won't get their day and nights confused and/or wake up at night to eat because they didn't eat enough in the daytime.

Sleep is a huge priority in our house and I make it my responsibility as a mom to see that my kiddos get all the sleep they need to be healthy. As a former middle school teacher, I saw what lack of proper sleep did to kids 'attitudes and performance. As a result, its been my goal to make sure our children develop healthy sleep habits and its paid off. I can count on one hand the times Mogi has woken at night in the last year and he sleeps a solid 11-12 hours every night. He's not a perfect child, but I truely believe it allows him to feel his best and have the chance for his brain to rest and grow that it needs.

Happy Sleeping!