With all the effort that goes into being a mom of two (under two) and all the other things I have going on besides being "mom" I've had to go from being organized to being super organized. So, I've made a few resolutions to help me in that effort. It may not be New Year's, but after The Plague Winter 2011 I needed a kick in the pants to get things going. So, here they are:
1. Stay off Facebook until after 8pm. The only exception is posting pictures from my phone or linking things that I read since neither of these really suck me into Facebook and its multitude of distractions.
2. Go to bed at 10pm. I need my beauty rest and don't have time for a nap during the day.
3. Get up at 6am and meet Jesus before I meet anyone else. Believe me, I'm a much better person to be around if I've had time in the Word and focusing on what really matters. Even if it occasionally means forsaking a shower...
Showing posts with label schedule. Show all posts
Showing posts with label schedule. Show all posts
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Two Under Two, the reality of it all
When we decided to have our children close together it was mostly based on the fact that Hubs and I both have siblings close in age. Although I'm big into doing my research, there wasn't much info on having a second child and how that works out at home. Some people asked me how I would continue working on my PhD and I told them I didn't know. And really, I didn't. (Side note: I still don't have any idea how to get back into it, but that's another post.) I read a few magazine articles here and there on the pros and cons of various sibling age differences, but that was about it.
So, in an attempt to add to the conversation on having Two Kids Under Two, here are some excerpts from our life the last few months.
The first few weeks went dreamily. The grandparents were a constant presence, Hubs took a week off work, and Mogi barely acknowledged his sister. I really think he thought she was a toy or accessory of some type. She clearly didn't "move fast enough" for him and his always on the move kind of ways, so he just ignored her. AJ ate and slept and nothing else. If she was awake she then easily slipped into sleep without a trouble or care. She didn't cry and occasionally made adorable kitten-like sounds.
But, of course, newborns do wake from their foggy state. And grandparents go home. And husbands go to work. And when that happens there is a grand potential for all kinds of things to "break loose" and "hit the fan".
Eventually, Mogi not only realized AJ was staying around, he also began to see her as a competitor for our affection. The little boy who wouldn't stop long enough to sit in your lap was now begging and crying to be picked up and held! And, of course, it would come to a boiling point when I was home alone with the two of them : ) [Hence, Molly's Laws of Motherhood] I was glad to have Mogi showing more affection but it was such a drastic change that I couldn't manage it well.
I was also functioning on sleep deprivation mode. You always hear new moms being told "Sleep when the baby sleeps." But that only work for first time moms because even though AJ might have been sleeping, Mogi was still wide awake and ready to tear the house apart at any moment- did I mention he's a climber and thrower if given the chance? So, my longest stretch of sleep was four hours for five or six weeks after having had horrible sleep through the last trimester of my pregnancy. I could not begin to think straight.
But, the light finally began to appear at the end of the tunnel. AJ's daily routine got more predictable and consistent. She started going down easier for naps and at night. She started sleeping a longer stretch at night, sometimes over 8 hours. And Mogi stopped seeing AJ as competition. He started to laugh and smile at her when she made funny noises or made eye contact with him.
So, what would I tell someone if they asked for some tips? Here's a few things...
1. Even if your life is completely laid back with child #1 and you do nothing predictably, create some routines before #2 arrives. It will help #1 have some things to feel very secure about and it will make life easier on you when you can't think straight.
Mornings and bedtime are written in stone around here. They always happen the exact same way in order to make sure all that needs to get done does get done. A lot of it has to do with my kids personalities and needs but I can have both kids fed, dressed and in the car, ready to go in less than an hour in the morning. And with the evenings being a fussy time for most newborns its great to work out plans for dinner and bath times. I also need this kind of order because there are times I have both kids on my own due to Hubs work rotations.
2. Get a piece of furniture big enough, and small enough, for the three of you. One of the first nights that I had both kids on my own I sat down in the rocking chair to feed AJ and moments later Mogi came up with a book in his hands begging to get into my lap. It was heart breaking. At 30 lbs I couldn't pull Mogi onto my lap one-handed if I needed to, but there wasn't room for him either. The next day I dragged a love seat into the nursery and took the legs off so Mogi can climb up and down without worrying about him falling. It's nothing fancy, just a $20 Cr@igslist find, but so worth it. Now Mogi can climb up next to me and bring the books with him!
3. Consider potty training. I'm not saying you need to potty train #1 before #2 arrives, but if you wait until #2 arrives it may not work. You can hear about toddlerhood and all the emotional changes that take place, but until it really happens, you have no idea. It was if someone flipped a switch one day and I woke up to a boy that no longer was thrilled to have my praise but instead was determined to do things his way. Now he wasn't perfect boy before this switch, but positive attention and praise often swayed his behavior. It doesn't work as well now and "I DO!" is now his favorite phrase. So, if you think you'll start potty training #1 after #2 is born, realize that between toddlerhood and the demands of a newborn it may take a lot more work than you expect.
4. Make good sleep habits a priority. Do you remember the first time your first child slept a rediculously long stretch at night? I do. It was as if life had begun again. I could put him to bed, get a few things done, go to bed and wake up the next day rested! Well, reaching that point is no less spectacular the second time around. I've relied heavily on the "Sleep Training" methods layed out in the Baby Whisperer's books. A swaddle, the "shush-pat", and a good lullaby are priceless!
5. Baby needs her space. I'd planned on AJ sleeping beside me at night in a bassinet and had a crib for her in the "Kid's Room" with Mogi's crib, but I quickly realized that it was unrealistic to think she could nap in the room while he was in there playing. And due to Hub's work rotations, she couldn't sleep in my room every day of the week. She needed her own place. So, I made some space for her in my office. It's not ideal, its a little too close to the commotion of the guest bathroom and I have to work very quietly if she's napping, but its working. So, even though kids can share a room once nap schedules coincide, until then they need a quiet space. But, let me be honest, the thought of sharing my office for the next year or so doesn't sound so appealing : /
Anyway, that's all the "wisdom" I have for now. I'd love to hear any stories from the "trenches" from those who also have two close in age, no matter what age they are now.
And as a reward for reaching the end of this very long post, here's a little happy moment from Potty Training Land : )
So, in an attempt to add to the conversation on having Two Kids Under Two, here are some excerpts from our life the last few months.
The first few weeks went dreamily. The grandparents were a constant presence, Hubs took a week off work, and Mogi barely acknowledged his sister. I really think he thought she was a toy or accessory of some type. She clearly didn't "move fast enough" for him and his always on the move kind of ways, so he just ignored her. AJ ate and slept and nothing else. If she was awake she then easily slipped into sleep without a trouble or care. She didn't cry and occasionally made adorable kitten-like sounds.
But, of course, newborns do wake from their foggy state. And grandparents go home. And husbands go to work. And when that happens there is a grand potential for all kinds of things to "break loose" and "hit the fan".
Eventually, Mogi not only realized AJ was staying around, he also began to see her as a competitor for our affection. The little boy who wouldn't stop long enough to sit in your lap was now begging and crying to be picked up and held! And, of course, it would come to a boiling point when I was home alone with the two of them : ) [Hence, Molly's Laws of Motherhood] I was glad to have Mogi showing more affection but it was such a drastic change that I couldn't manage it well.
I was also functioning on sleep deprivation mode. You always hear new moms being told "Sleep when the baby sleeps." But that only work for first time moms because even though AJ might have been sleeping, Mogi was still wide awake and ready to tear the house apart at any moment- did I mention he's a climber and thrower if given the chance? So, my longest stretch of sleep was four hours for five or six weeks after having had horrible sleep through the last trimester of my pregnancy. I could not begin to think straight.
But, the light finally began to appear at the end of the tunnel. AJ's daily routine got more predictable and consistent. She started going down easier for naps and at night. She started sleeping a longer stretch at night, sometimes over 8 hours. And Mogi stopped seeing AJ as competition. He started to laugh and smile at her when she made funny noises or made eye contact with him.
So, what would I tell someone if they asked for some tips? Here's a few things...
1. Even if your life is completely laid back with child #1 and you do nothing predictably, create some routines before #2 arrives. It will help #1 have some things to feel very secure about and it will make life easier on you when you can't think straight.
Mornings and bedtime are written in stone around here. They always happen the exact same way in order to make sure all that needs to get done does get done. A lot of it has to do with my kids personalities and needs but I can have both kids fed, dressed and in the car, ready to go in less than an hour in the morning. And with the evenings being a fussy time for most newborns its great to work out plans for dinner and bath times. I also need this kind of order because there are times I have both kids on my own due to Hubs work rotations.
2. Get a piece of furniture big enough, and small enough, for the three of you. One of the first nights that I had both kids on my own I sat down in the rocking chair to feed AJ and moments later Mogi came up with a book in his hands begging to get into my lap. It was heart breaking. At 30 lbs I couldn't pull Mogi onto my lap one-handed if I needed to, but there wasn't room for him either. The next day I dragged a love seat into the nursery and took the legs off so Mogi can climb up and down without worrying about him falling. It's nothing fancy, just a $20 Cr@igslist find, but so worth it. Now Mogi can climb up next to me and bring the books with him!
3. Consider potty training. I'm not saying you need to potty train #1 before #2 arrives, but if you wait until #2 arrives it may not work. You can hear about toddlerhood and all the emotional changes that take place, but until it really happens, you have no idea. It was if someone flipped a switch one day and I woke up to a boy that no longer was thrilled to have my praise but instead was determined to do things his way. Now he wasn't perfect boy before this switch, but positive attention and praise often swayed his behavior. It doesn't work as well now and "I DO!" is now his favorite phrase. So, if you think you'll start potty training #1 after #2 is born, realize that between toddlerhood and the demands of a newborn it may take a lot more work than you expect.
4. Make good sleep habits a priority. Do you remember the first time your first child slept a rediculously long stretch at night? I do. It was as if life had begun again. I could put him to bed, get a few things done, go to bed and wake up the next day rested! Well, reaching that point is no less spectacular the second time around. I've relied heavily on the "Sleep Training" methods layed out in the Baby Whisperer's books. A swaddle, the "shush-pat", and a good lullaby are priceless!
5. Baby needs her space. I'd planned on AJ sleeping beside me at night in a bassinet and had a crib for her in the "Kid's Room" with Mogi's crib, but I quickly realized that it was unrealistic to think she could nap in the room while he was in there playing. And due to Hub's work rotations, she couldn't sleep in my room every day of the week. She needed her own place. So, I made some space for her in my office. It's not ideal, its a little too close to the commotion of the guest bathroom and I have to work very quietly if she's napping, but its working. So, even though kids can share a room once nap schedules coincide, until then they need a quiet space. But, let me be honest, the thought of sharing my office for the next year or so doesn't sound so appealing : /
Anyway, that's all the "wisdom" I have for now. I'd love to hear any stories from the "trenches" from those who also have two close in age, no matter what age they are now.
And as a reward for reaching the end of this very long post, here's a little happy moment from Potty Training Land : )
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Newborn Schedule at 2 Months
First, if you hate the word 'schedule' used with kids or babies, don't get yourself too worked up. I've never refused to feed my child because she woke "too" early from a nap or woke her up to eat because it was 5 minutes past her "wake time". Instead, I use the schedule as a type of routine to help me know what I need to get done when so I can meet my obligations and give her the care she needs.
So, here's what an idyllic day looks like in AJ's World:
7:40a Wake her up to start the day and have her first feeding, whether she's awake or not
8:00 Change diaper and head off to get Big Brother Mogi out of bed and dressed.
8:15 Hang out in kitchen while others eat breakfast
8:50 Swaddle and lay her in crib to (hopefully) lull herself asleep for a nap. If I don't pay attention to her and how long she's been up I potentially wait too long and she's strung out and needs a lot of calming to be able to sleep. being able to lay her down and essentially " walk away" is much easier on all of us.
11a & 2p Routine starts over
(Basically I follow the E.A.S.Y. routine from the Baby Whisperer and adjust how soon she goes down for her nap based on her behavior; red eyes, glazed stare, jerky movements, yawning...)
5p Feed and change diaper
5:30 hang out in kitchen while family has dinner
6:15 Swaddle and down for rest/nap time whether she falls asleep or not.
7:00 Feed AGAIN
7:30 Bath, diaper and dress.
8:15 Swaddle and lay in crib to fall asleep on own.
8:45 usually asleep by this time
9:45 "Dream Feed" This is another Baby Whisperer method: without waking her I gently take her from crib, still swaddled, and feed her until she stops eating. If she's too sound asleep to eat, that means I waited too long to feed her. Disturbing her sleep will only mess up her night sleep and cause her to wake at night when I don't want her to.
-Hopefully she'll sleep until morning, but she could also need a feeding at 5am or so.
A few caveats: if I have to be somewhere I'll wake AJ early and feed her so we can get there, or feed her extra before her nap so if she does wake while we're out she's not starving and mad. Also, since its a 3 hour routine, I never let her sleep longer than a 3 hour stretch during the day. This isn't likely to happen, but if she was disturbed previously and only got a brief nap and went down early after eating, it could happen. A lot of people say "don't wake a sleeping baby" but I disagree and think at some point you should wake them. That way they won't get their day and nights confused and/or wake up at night to eat because they didn't eat enough in the daytime.
Sleep is a huge priority in our house and I make it my responsibility as a mom to see that my kiddos get all the sleep they need to be healthy. As a former middle school teacher, I saw what lack of proper sleep did to kids 'attitudes and performance. As a result, its been my goal to make sure our children develop healthy sleep habits and its paid off. I can count on one hand the times Mogi has woken at night in the last year and he sleeps a solid 11-12 hours every night. He's not a perfect child, but I truely believe it allows him to feel his best and have the chance for his brain to rest and grow that it needs.
Happy Sleeping!
So, here's what an idyllic day looks like in AJ's World:
7:40a Wake her up to start the day and have her first feeding, whether she's awake or not
8:00 Change diaper and head off to get Big Brother Mogi out of bed and dressed.
8:15 Hang out in kitchen while others eat breakfast
8:50 Swaddle and lay her in crib to (hopefully) lull herself asleep for a nap. If I don't pay attention to her and how long she's been up I potentially wait too long and she's strung out and needs a lot of calming to be able to sleep. being able to lay her down and essentially " walk away" is much easier on all of us.
11a & 2p Routine starts over
(Basically I follow the E.A.S.Y. routine from the Baby Whisperer and adjust how soon she goes down for her nap based on her behavior; red eyes, glazed stare, jerky movements, yawning...)
5p Feed and change diaper
5:30 hang out in kitchen while family has dinner
6:15 Swaddle and down for rest/nap time whether she falls asleep or not.
7:00 Feed AGAIN
7:30 Bath, diaper and dress.
8:15 Swaddle and lay in crib to fall asleep on own.
8:45 usually asleep by this time
9:45 "Dream Feed" This is another Baby Whisperer method: without waking her I gently take her from crib, still swaddled, and feed her until she stops eating. If she's too sound asleep to eat, that means I waited too long to feed her. Disturbing her sleep will only mess up her night sleep and cause her to wake at night when I don't want her to.
-Hopefully she'll sleep until morning, but she could also need a feeding at 5am or so.
A few caveats: if I have to be somewhere I'll wake AJ early and feed her so we can get there, or feed her extra before her nap so if she does wake while we're out she's not starving and mad. Also, since its a 3 hour routine, I never let her sleep longer than a 3 hour stretch during the day. This isn't likely to happen, but if she was disturbed previously and only got a brief nap and went down early after eating, it could happen. A lot of people say "don't wake a sleeping baby" but I disagree and think at some point you should wake them. That way they won't get their day and nights confused and/or wake up at night to eat because they didn't eat enough in the daytime.
Sleep is a huge priority in our house and I make it my responsibility as a mom to see that my kiddos get all the sleep they need to be healthy. As a former middle school teacher, I saw what lack of proper sleep did to kids 'attitudes and performance. As a result, its been my goal to make sure our children develop healthy sleep habits and its paid off. I can count on one hand the times Mogi has woken at night in the last year and he sleeps a solid 11-12 hours every night. He's not a perfect child, but I truely believe it allows him to feel his best and have the chance for his brain to rest and grow that it needs.
Happy Sleeping!
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Fall Schedule
I could begin with explanation as to why I haven't written in FOREVER... I'll try not to make it sound too pitiful, but I was sick in one form or another for weeks and Mogi has gone through some sickness and lots of teething too. I had a cold which lingered for weeks and turned into a sinus infection. Both were rough and then when I should have been feeling better I got dehydrated. That ended up sending me to the hospital for fluids and took another week to get my full (pregnant) strength back. I've also been having issues with being able to sleep at night. I was feeling like an insomniac, awake half the night and exhausted all day, but a visit to the doctor has resolved some of that. So, writing just hasn't been on my radar.
Over the last two weeks I have gotten into a bit of routine for work/life and its nice. Simply having a routine makes me feel like a saner person, and its a comfortable routine for me. Mogi also has a new routine with consistently taking one nap a day and that helps my schedule too. Also, he started walking the weekend of August 21st and then started "preschool" on August 31st. I think between the two he uses up so much energy that he needs a long, solid nap each day.
So, here's some of my current work/lifestyle goals: (By the way, being in "school" and having child care help that are college students keeps me in the semester-at-a-time mindset. Although this isn't everyone's reality, it is helpful to have shorter term goals and plans with young children in the home. Their needs/abilities change rather rapidly and you find the need for frequent reassessment at new stages.)
1. Have ~20 hours a week for work/research with no child responsibilities, but also a few of those hours where I can leave the house and run to campus if needed.
2. Have a daily/weekly routine for Mogi that can be maintained after AJ's arrival so that he has a good sense of consistency and doesn't feel as if his entire world got turned upside down.
3. Have times where I can rest and/or scale back house/research workload when I feel tired or overwhelmed.
4. Contain work/research times so that there is definite family time to spend with Hubs and Mogi.
5. Work during daylight hours so that when Mogi is in bed I can sleep, hang out with Hubs, or do whatever interests me. (I am not productive or motivated to work at night.)
6. Have flexibility so that I can enjoy Hub's days off. (He has a rotating schedule that is anything but 9-5.)
Here's my resulting week:
Monday/Wednesday/Friday
7:00a- Wake up, get some coffee/snack, spend time reading Bible and in prayer
7:45- Jump in the shower, get dressed.
8:00- Mogi is awake. Change his diaper, get him dressed, and give him some milk.
8:20- Fix my hair and face while Mogi plays in his room.
8:30- Breakfast for everyone who is home. I've been on a bagel w/PB kick. Mogi either has an iron-fortified cereal with milk or bagel w/PB and then some fruit plus more milk.
9:00- Clean up breakfast mess and any mess from the night before, if there is one. Mogi plays with toys in the kitchen (pots and pans, tupperware cabinet, or playhouse) while I work.
9:15- Work on more chores in the kitchen if I have them (laundry, baking, food/dinner prep, etc) or head to Mogi's room to play with toys.
10:00- Head out to run errands if we have them, taking a snack along. Have a family adventure if Ro has a day off.
11:30- Usually back home. Chill out by reading some books or watching a Baby Einstein video together.
12p(noon)- Lunch
If Hubs is home, we usually end up eating previous nights leftovers or I'll whip something interesting out of leftovers (quesadilla from leftover pork BBQ). He's not big on sandwiches. If we do eat sandwiches, I make grilled cheese and meat.
If its just Mogi and I we choose from the following: noodles and tomato sauce (aka spaghetti); lunchmeat, cheese and bread; "pizza" (mini-bagel or tortilla with a pepperoni, red sauce and cheese warmed on top); PB and J; baked beans; black bean quesadilla. We usually save fruit for the end of the meal. I try to give him a serving of yogurt with active cultures once a day. Some days its at a snack, other days during lunch.
12:20- Mogi goes down for afternoon nap. When he goes down I try to put in 2 hours of research.
2:15- I try to get a moment of rest with my feet up. If I get lucky I close my eyes for a few minutes.
3:00- Mogi is awake from his nap (Usually between 2:45 and 4p, depending on his mood and what we've been up to). Diaper change and cup with milk and free play in his room or where ever I am. If Ro is around, and especially is Mogi hasn't seen him earlier in the day, he runs straight for him and "demands" some attention.
3:30 Snack for Mogi. Usually crackers of some type, a small amount of fruit, and more of his milk.
4:00- Dinner prep/cooking and house cleaning/vacuuming/de-cluttering. A good bit of this occurs in the kitchen with music going so we can dance and play.
4:30- Family time. Ro is usually around at this time, so the boys may play together while I finish in the kitchen, or we all hang out and play.
5:15- Dinnertime. We all eat together at the kitchen table.
6:00- Dinner clean up.
6:15- Outside playtime (swinging, blowing bubbles), visit the grandparents, or go to the pool.
7:20- Snack(milk and graham crackers) then bath time
7:45- Diaper, PJs, story, cuddle...
8:00- Mogi's bedtime
8:01- My freetime! I try to really watch minimal TV. Right now I enjoy some Tuesday night programs, other than that I try not to switch it on. Maybe a Netflix movie with Hubs once a week. Catch up with Facebook or blogs. Write a blog. Finish folding any laundry that is leftover. figure out what I need to be ready for the next day.
9:00- My bed time, 4 out of 7 nights
9:45- My bedtime the other nights. If I stay up later I regret it. Its just how much sleep I need when I'm pregnant!!!
Tuesday/Thursday
My wake up stays the same except I have to have the face done and minimize hair so that at
8:20- Breakfast for Mogi and I
8:35- Double check the diaper bag and refill milk cup
8:40- Load up the mini-van and head to "preschool"
8:50- Drop Mogi off at "school"
9:05- Back at home starting my work day.
11:30- Sitter comes by and swaps her car for mini-van and heads to get Mogi from school. I take a quick break to get his lunch together and take food back to my desk to eat.
12p- Sitter is home with Mogi, feeds him lunch and gets him ready for a nap.
12:20- Mogi naps and the "regular" schedule resumes. (If I've left the house for whatever reasons the sitter stays until I get back).
Saturday
I often sleep in until Mogi wakes me, unless we have somewhere to be. Anything goes for the rest of the day, but mealtimes are pretty solid. Every two weeks Ro and I attempt to have a "date night". lately we've been swapping with some friends and their daughter which works well.
Sunday
Same early morning routine.
9:00- Leave for Sunday school at church.
12:30- Make it home from service. Mogi usually fell asleep in car and doesn't eat lunch with us.
3:30- Routine resumes but we regularly try to have family dinners with my brother, sister-in-law, and parents, depending on who is in town. This is often from 5 to 8pm and happens at our house.
I often think "How do other working mom's get it all done?" Well, I don't get it all done and usually have "dragging" ends or overdue "to-do" lists, but maybe this schedule will help others who are wondering how to best structure their day for their family and work.
Got any tips or schedule ideas? Feel free to share them...
Over the last two weeks I have gotten into a bit of routine for work/life and its nice. Simply having a routine makes me feel like a saner person, and its a comfortable routine for me. Mogi also has a new routine with consistently taking one nap a day and that helps my schedule too. Also, he started walking the weekend of August 21st and then started "preschool" on August 31st. I think between the two he uses up so much energy that he needs a long, solid nap each day.
So, here's some of my current work/lifestyle goals: (By the way, being in "school" and having child care help that are college students keeps me in the semester-at-a-time mindset. Although this isn't everyone's reality, it is helpful to have shorter term goals and plans with young children in the home. Their needs/abilities change rather rapidly and you find the need for frequent reassessment at new stages.)
1. Have ~20 hours a week for work/research with no child responsibilities, but also a few of those hours where I can leave the house and run to campus if needed.
2. Have a daily/weekly routine for Mogi that can be maintained after AJ's arrival so that he has a good sense of consistency and doesn't feel as if his entire world got turned upside down.
3. Have times where I can rest and/or scale back house/research workload when I feel tired or overwhelmed.
4. Contain work/research times so that there is definite family time to spend with Hubs and Mogi.
5. Work during daylight hours so that when Mogi is in bed I can sleep, hang out with Hubs, or do whatever interests me. (I am not productive or motivated to work at night.)
6. Have flexibility so that I can enjoy Hub's days off. (He has a rotating schedule that is anything but 9-5.)
Here's my resulting week:
Monday/Wednesday/Friday
7:00a- Wake up, get some coffee/snack, spend time reading Bible and in prayer
7:45- Jump in the shower, get dressed.
8:00- Mogi is awake. Change his diaper, get him dressed, and give him some milk.
8:20- Fix my hair and face while Mogi plays in his room.
8:30- Breakfast for everyone who is home. I've been on a bagel w/PB kick. Mogi either has an iron-fortified cereal with milk or bagel w/PB and then some fruit plus more milk.
9:00- Clean up breakfast mess and any mess from the night before, if there is one. Mogi plays with toys in the kitchen (pots and pans, tupperware cabinet, or playhouse) while I work.
9:15- Work on more chores in the kitchen if I have them (laundry, baking, food/dinner prep, etc) or head to Mogi's room to play with toys.
10:00- Head out to run errands if we have them, taking a snack along. Have a family adventure if Ro has a day off.
11:30- Usually back home. Chill out by reading some books or watching a Baby Einstein video together.
12p(noon)- Lunch
If Hubs is home, we usually end up eating previous nights leftovers or I'll whip something interesting out of leftovers (quesadilla from leftover pork BBQ). He's not big on sandwiches. If we do eat sandwiches, I make grilled cheese and meat.
If its just Mogi and I we choose from the following: noodles and tomato sauce (aka spaghetti); lunchmeat, cheese and bread; "pizza" (mini-bagel or tortilla with a pepperoni, red sauce and cheese warmed on top); PB and J; baked beans; black bean quesadilla. We usually save fruit for the end of the meal. I try to give him a serving of yogurt with active cultures once a day. Some days its at a snack, other days during lunch.
12:20- Mogi goes down for afternoon nap. When he goes down I try to put in 2 hours of research.
2:15- I try to get a moment of rest with my feet up. If I get lucky I close my eyes for a few minutes.
3:00- Mogi is awake from his nap (Usually between 2:45 and 4p, depending on his mood and what we've been up to). Diaper change and cup with milk and free play in his room or where ever I am. If Ro is around, and especially is Mogi hasn't seen him earlier in the day, he runs straight for him and "demands" some attention.
3:30 Snack for Mogi. Usually crackers of some type, a small amount of fruit, and more of his milk.
4:00- Dinner prep/cooking and house cleaning/vacuuming/de-cluttering. A good bit of this occurs in the kitchen with music going so we can dance and play.
4:30- Family time. Ro is usually around at this time, so the boys may play together while I finish in the kitchen, or we all hang out and play.
5:15- Dinnertime. We all eat together at the kitchen table.
6:00- Dinner clean up.
6:15- Outside playtime (swinging, blowing bubbles), visit the grandparents, or go to the pool.
7:20- Snack(milk and graham crackers) then bath time
7:45- Diaper, PJs, story, cuddle...
8:00- Mogi's bedtime
8:01- My freetime! I try to really watch minimal TV. Right now I enjoy some Tuesday night programs, other than that I try not to switch it on. Maybe a Netflix movie with Hubs once a week. Catch up with Facebook or blogs. Write a blog. Finish folding any laundry that is leftover. figure out what I need to be ready for the next day.
9:00- My bed time, 4 out of 7 nights
9:45- My bedtime the other nights. If I stay up later I regret it. Its just how much sleep I need when I'm pregnant!!!
Tuesday/Thursday
My wake up stays the same except I have to have the face done and minimize hair so that at
8:20- Breakfast for Mogi and I
8:35- Double check the diaper bag and refill milk cup
8:40- Load up the mini-van and head to "preschool"
8:50- Drop Mogi off at "school"
9:05- Back at home starting my work day.
11:30- Sitter comes by and swaps her car for mini-van and heads to get Mogi from school. I take a quick break to get his lunch together and take food back to my desk to eat.
12p- Sitter is home with Mogi, feeds him lunch and gets him ready for a nap.
12:20- Mogi naps and the "regular" schedule resumes. (If I've left the house for whatever reasons the sitter stays until I get back).
Saturday
I often sleep in until Mogi wakes me, unless we have somewhere to be. Anything goes for the rest of the day, but mealtimes are pretty solid. Every two weeks Ro and I attempt to have a "date night". lately we've been swapping with some friends and their daughter which works well.
Sunday
Same early morning routine.
9:00- Leave for Sunday school at church.
12:30- Make it home from service. Mogi usually fell asleep in car and doesn't eat lunch with us.
3:30- Routine resumes but we regularly try to have family dinners with my brother, sister-in-law, and parents, depending on who is in town. This is often from 5 to 8pm and happens at our house.
I often think "How do other working mom's get it all done?" Well, I don't get it all done and usually have "dragging" ends or overdue "to-do" lists, but maybe this schedule will help others who are wondering how to best structure their day for their family and work.
Got any tips or schedule ideas? Feel free to share them...
Monday, February 22, 2010
The Winter "Plague"
Well, I seem to have lost momentum on posting. Quite a bit of that has to do with our house being plagued by winter colds. For some 5 weeks now, Mini-man and I have been experiencing a variety of cold symptoms that come and go at will. On top of this Mini-man is teething. Two weeks ago teeth #3 & #4 broke through. I was hoping that would bring some relief to him, but it really hasn’t. Guess there are more teeth there working their way through.
Last week, after a 30 minute long coughing session, I decided it was time to see the doctor. Turns out my cold had transformed itself into an infection. I hope these antibiotics fix what ails me, but at the moment they’re only making my stomach churn and I’m still waking in the mornings feeling like I’m drowning in an ocean of fluids. Yuck!
Mini-man had a running nose reappear last Saturday. It was infrequent, but it would really get going when he cried. And, poor boy, he has been chewing like crazy, so I know his teeth are giving him fits. But then yesterday, he was really unhappy and when I gave him something to chew, he pushed it away! He’d napped fine and wasn’t hungry, so I thought a walk would be good. But, as I put him in the stroller, I realized he felt warm and was a bit lethargic/limp. It took Hubby and I both to distract him/hold him down to get his temperature, but sure enough, it was 100.9°. After a call to the nurse, we re-dosed him with Tylenol and tried to get his mind off his discomfort. He ended up going to sleep at 5:30pm, waking at 9:45pm for a bottle and then sleeping until 7:30 this morning.
A trip to the doctor confirmed an ear infection and he’s on antibiotics to speed recovery. I’m really praying that the meds help us “perk-up” around here. I have been so tired that it’s really hard to get “it” all done. A lot of things have to get cut back and just narrow in on what is most essential and important. I don't know how my professors perceive it, but I've just had to be real honest that my son is sick and I may need to stay home with him. I emailed one professor 3 days prior to exam to let him know Mini-man was sick and if he was better I would need to take the test at an alternative time when someone could stay with him that he is comfortable with. I would guess moms using day-care have to do the same things. I'm positive you can't send a sick child to day care.
I have grand intentions to get up at 5:45am, shower, eat breakfast, and study the Bible before Mini-man wakes up, but the reality is that I’m barely out of bed when he wakes up. And on the days, like today, where I don’t have a Quiet Time of Bible study and prayer before the day begins, and then all kinds of things become distractions and I never stop for prayer and study…
So, when I find myself (on this day of no Quiet Time) battling feelings of doubt, depression, frustration, and tiredness that all come in waves, I really shouldn’t be surprised.
Forgive me, Lord; for living today as if You don’t really matter.
Forgive me, Lord; for trying to do this/life, in my own strength.
Thank you, Lord; that your mercy is new each morning.
Heal me, Lord; from this illness in my body that continues to make me feel weary.
Help me, Lord; to wake tomorrow with a renewed body and a spirit determined to seek you first, regardless of all the urgent and important things that come up!
Friday, February 5, 2010
Where I am 'Write' Now (pt 1)
'Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evel for evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.' 1 Peter 3:11 NIV of The Bible
It's a new year! I am taking classes on campus, four classes to be specific. It's a whole lot more than I'd like to be taking, but I'll be glad to have them done when I get to the end of the semester.
Truth is, I feel pretty overwhelmed some days when I think about all my responsibilities and 'hats'. And as I look around for role models, it seems pretty hard to find other women doing the same 'thing.' I guess that is a big reason why I decided to start back on this blog. Recently, I went 'googling' trying to find any resources for women who were working on advanced degrees and had children. I found a few bits but nothing was especially helpful. It's frustrating for me to feel like I'm the only person who is trying to get a PhD and be the primary caretaker for thier child. I know I'm not the only one... So where is everyone else?
The technology is available to put myself "out there", so I'm going to try. Maybe if I make some discoveries on how to do this while being the best possible student and mom that I can be, the evidence will be here to pass along to others that attempt the same noble feat.
I am currently a bit isolated from others in my department. Some of this is self-imposed. I (my husband and I) did not want to rely on full-time daycare as the means of caring for our son while I continued working on my degree. This something I felt strongly about long before I had children. I couldn't imagine carrying him with me 24/7 throughout my pregnancy, then care for him around the clock post-partum, and choosing after a maternity leave to turn over to daycare workers for 40 hours a week. I (We) wanted to be the ones he spent the vast majority of his time with. I know for many couples this is there only option, but we felt like we needed to do otherwise.
So, for my first semester back after having Ramogi, I would work while he took naps. This meant I worked from home and was away from the company of my peers and professors. Some days this was incredibly difficult, other times it worked smoothly. My son is a great sleeper and when I started back to research/work he was napping 6 hours a day. If I worked through 4 of those hours, I was doing really well. Unrealistically, I first thought I would work 6 days a week. Truth be told, I was still thinking of myself as a full-time student and a full-time mom. As my frustration would mount that I couldn't get enough done, or my son didn't sleep well on a given day, I saw my folly.
I CANNOT be both a full-time mom and student. I had to chose one or the other. Well, that was easy, I had already chosen to be a full-time mom. Now I had to figure out how to be a part-time student.
Some thoughts/advice as of today with an 8 month-old and 2 years in to a PhD program:
1. Make sure that you chose an advisor who is supportive of family and will not question your decision to put family first. If you already have an advisor and are just now bringing up the subject, steel yourself to be firm on your priorities.
2. Have a plan on how you expect to manage family and school, and then have a back-up plan. (I had every intention of taking a full courseload through my pregnancy, but was nearly disabled and physically overwhelmed through much of it. Instead of completing 18 hours as planned, I completed 12. But, I've adjusted and am only one semester behind in coursework.)
3. Even if you can do work/research from home and will be the primary care for your child(ren), still plan to ahve some help. There will be projects that require large blocks of time. You will need to elave the house to go to a meeting or see someone face-to-face. Don't wait until it comes up to get help. Schedule and find help now. Make a regular plan to use help so that they are always there and you can rely on them. Piece meal help is nice when something occassionally comes up, but trying to beg someone every other Thursday to take your son so you can go to seminar will just get exhausting and stressful. Find some reliable and keep them!
It's a new year! I am taking classes on campus, four classes to be specific. It's a whole lot more than I'd like to be taking, but I'll be glad to have them done when I get to the end of the semester.
Truth is, I feel pretty overwhelmed some days when I think about all my responsibilities and 'hats'. And as I look around for role models, it seems pretty hard to find other women doing the same 'thing.' I guess that is a big reason why I decided to start back on this blog. Recently, I went 'googling' trying to find any resources for women who were working on advanced degrees and had children. I found a few bits but nothing was especially helpful. It's frustrating for me to feel like I'm the only person who is trying to get a PhD and be the primary caretaker for thier child. I know I'm not the only one... So where is everyone else?
The technology is available to put myself "out there", so I'm going to try. Maybe if I make some discoveries on how to do this while being the best possible student and mom that I can be, the evidence will be here to pass along to others that attempt the same noble feat.
I am currently a bit isolated from others in my department. Some of this is self-imposed. I (my husband and I) did not want to rely on full-time daycare as the means of caring for our son while I continued working on my degree. This something I felt strongly about long before I had children. I couldn't imagine carrying him with me 24/7 throughout my pregnancy, then care for him around the clock post-partum, and choosing after a maternity leave to turn over to daycare workers for 40 hours a week. I (We) wanted to be the ones he spent the vast majority of his time with. I know for many couples this is there only option, but we felt like we needed to do otherwise.
So, for my first semester back after having Ramogi, I would work while he took naps. This meant I worked from home and was away from the company of my peers and professors. Some days this was incredibly difficult, other times it worked smoothly. My son is a great sleeper and when I started back to research/work he was napping 6 hours a day. If I worked through 4 of those hours, I was doing really well. Unrealistically, I first thought I would work 6 days a week. Truth be told, I was still thinking of myself as a full-time student and a full-time mom. As my frustration would mount that I couldn't get enough done, or my son didn't sleep well on a given day, I saw my folly.
I CANNOT be both a full-time mom and student. I had to chose one or the other. Well, that was easy, I had already chosen to be a full-time mom. Now I had to figure out how to be a part-time student.
Some thoughts/advice as of today with an 8 month-old and 2 years in to a PhD program:
1. Make sure that you chose an advisor who is supportive of family and will not question your decision to put family first. If you already have an advisor and are just now bringing up the subject, steel yourself to be firm on your priorities.
2. Have a plan on how you expect to manage family and school, and then have a back-up plan. (I had every intention of taking a full courseload through my pregnancy, but was nearly disabled and physically overwhelmed through much of it. Instead of completing 18 hours as planned, I completed 12. But, I've adjusted and am only one semester behind in coursework.)
3. Even if you can do work/research from home and will be the primary care for your child(ren), still plan to ahve some help. There will be projects that require large blocks of time. You will need to elave the house to go to a meeting or see someone face-to-face. Don't wait until it comes up to get help. Schedule and find help now. Make a regular plan to use help so that they are always there and you can rely on them. Piece meal help is nice when something occassionally comes up, but trying to beg someone every other Thursday to take your son so you can go to seminar will just get exhausting and stressful. Find some reliable and keep them!
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