Mocha Drop Mama

Maharagwe (Maragwe)

2011-08-16T14:50:00.000-05:00

Recipe for Kenyan style beans with coconut milk. This makes a big pot of beans. If they are too much, just toss them in the freezer and they'll taste just a great when you pull them out after a month! The beans will taste even better after they sit in the spices for a few hours. Leftovers are usually better than the first time. Ideally, fix them in the morning or on the weekend to eat during the week!

2 lb. pinto beans (or another red/white bean)
3 cubes bullion
1 onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, diced
2 t. curry powder
1/4 t. black pepper
dash gr. red pepper
1/2 t. salt
1 can crushed tomatoes
1 can of coconut milk
cilantro, chopped

Soak beans overnight according to directions. (I soak mine in a 4.5qt slow cooker) Drain and rinse and return to pot with water to cover. Add bullion. (I often cook mine in the slow cooker on HIGH for about the same amount of time as on the stove.) Bring to a boil and put on rapid simmer for 2 to 3 hours.

Once beans are cooked, in a fry pan, add oil, onion and garlic and saute until soft. Add spices and salt and saute for a minute or two longer. Add tomatoes and let simmer for 5 minutes or until tomatoes no longer taste acidic. Turn off heat.

Turn beans on high and add coconut milk. Bring to boil and add tomato/spice mixture. Add cilantro. Let simmer on low for 15 minutes or longer. Serve with rice, ugali, cornbread or flatbread.

When serving leftovers, add fresh cilantro.

New Cloth Diapers: BumGenius 4.0

2011-05-10T21:44:00.001-05:00

Our latest addition to the cloth diaper "stash" arrived today! Six BumGenius 4.0 Snaps in Ribbit from Nicki's Diapers. I was so excited when they came that I rushed them into the wash and dryer so we could try them out. They are a work of art!

This is the first BumGenius we've purchased, but I have one that a friend gave me and really liked it. I was moved to purchase them because of the great sale they have going on right now. Bum Genius 4.0 are Buy 5 Get 1 Free! That brings the price to $15 each!!!!

I really can't use enough exclamation points to describe my excitement. If you don't cloth diaper then you probably think I'm a little nutty, but using cloth diapers has been one of the greatest sources of savings for our family in these early years of having children. It's a modest upfront investment ($200-500 depending on your likes) but you can them pay nothing on diapers until your 'little' is out of diapers.

"Well, Molly, if they're so great, why are you spending more money on new ones?"

Good question.

Because I have Two Under Two. I thought Mogi would be potty trained by now and out of cloth diapers, but we're still in the process and its not going to be done tomorrow. He does go through a lot less diapers than Aj does, but they still get used and we didn't have enough to make it from wash day to wash day. There's nothing worse than needing to get your child dressed only to realize the diapers are still wet in the wash and there's no clean ones to use. Since this has happened or nearly happened several times lately, I decided to buy more. Also, AJ is a big wetter for her size and I bought some Cotton Babies Diaper Doublers from Nicki's to use with her prefolds and covers. I've been having to change her diaper so often that its become a hassle. And I can't imagine she like sitting in a soggy diaper!

Do you have questions about cloth diapering? Something that's preventing you from taking the "leap"? Share them on hear and I'll try to answer them. We'll also be having a series over at Muddy Mamas in the next few months on cloth diapers, so if I can't answer them I know one of the other cloth diaper Mamas can!

+++ I'm not receiving compensation in any way for this post. I'm just a huge fan!++

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T14:25:00.000-05:00

Happy Mother's Day to all the mom's out there, whether your kids are in your arms, out your door, or just a dream conceived in your heart. I am becoming overwhelmingly convinced with each passing day that motherhood is a huge and high calling that has been undermined by our culture. We need to "take it back" and celebrate it as the important career that it is!

Happy Mother's Day to my mom. She goes by the name "Dani" to her Mocha Drop grandkids, but she'll always be my mama. She's one of the hardest working, determined, loving, and generous women I know. She gives so much of her time and energy to all of us and we could not imagine how our world would "keep on spinning" without her help. We love you, Mama Dani :)

It's been a nice Mother's Day for me. Mogi-boy made me a card and gift at preschool, which was my first homemade gift from him! And Hubs took me and the kids out for a yummy meal, which we NEVER do given the high octane level of Mogi. But, it was great.

Today, in addition to Mother's Day, AJ is 6 months old and Mogi 23 months! Time is flying. I've got some more "Two Under Two" posts rolling around in my head, so I better get them writtin before he's no longer "under two"!

KABOOM! There went naptime...

2011-04-13T23:24:00.000-05:00

Funny story. Well, okay, not funny, but I tell myself it is so I can stay sane.

The kids and I met up with some other mommy friends and they're kids at the park today for lunch and some playtime. It was beautiful, but sunny and hot. We stayed longer than I had planned and got home almost an hour later than Mogi usually goes down for a nap. And...when we pull into the driveway I see that he's asleep.

But, AJ, she's "talking" away. She'd taken a short nap at the park and apparently was feeling vocal.

I get both the kids in the house and Mogi in his bed without too much disturbance. I feed AJ and lay her in her crib 30 minutes later hoping she'll take the hit and fall asleep. Well, she doesn't. She swings back and forth between delighted squeals and frustrated cries, and I keep going in to try and get her to lower the volume.

She finally gets quiet and no more than 30 minutes later Mogi awakens. He's upset and I put him on the toilet thinking he has to potty and return him to bed. But, he's made so much noise...

Yes, you guessed it... AJ's awake again. And then 15 minutes later Mogi's awake as well.

Wow. Sure glad I don't attempt to be productive during naps. Oh wait, I do. I'm trying to get a PhD!

The end result was me having an extra cup of coffee at 4pm and EARLY BEDTIMES!!

Have any crazy naptime stories you'd love to share???

My Head's A Spinnin'!

2011-04-06T20:56:00.000-05:00

Well, I've been over at Muddy Mamas writing some posts, a review of Everyd@y Food magazine and tomorrow a post on consignment sales. And on the homefront I've had some big projects for my degree and fussy kids. Poor AJ had a low grade fever for most of last week that went unexplained, ever after a trip to the doctor and a failed attempt at a bladder sample. Ouch! And Mini-Man, well, some days are just better than others in toddlerland.

So, I'm neck high in the deep end of the pool, but I don't plan to stay here forever. In the meantime, hop on over to Muddy Mamas and see all the great things happening there!!

Here's a few pics of our not-so-mini-Man.

Cool dude in new shades from Dani & Papa

Cheese!!

A Little Encouragement

2011-03-28T15:39:00.000-05:00

It's such a great thing to hear that something I've written on here has benefited someone else. So, when Stretch Your Savings wrote a post on how helpful my post was, I was floored. THANK YOU

By the way, she has a wonderfully helpful site on saving money, couponing and all kinds of deals. Go check her out!!

http://stretchyoursavings.blogspot.com/2011/03/just-inspiration-i-needed.html

Two Under Two: Sharing a Room

2011-03-24T20:54:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm giving it a try again tonight. Last night I put the kids to bed in the same room and it went pretty well. Things have been rough for the last week with AJ's sleep. She's been busting out of her swaddle and a few nights I got up nearly 15 times to fix it and pop in the pacifier. Can you say ZOMBIE?

Anyway, back to a shared room. I've had her travel pack n' play in "Mogi's" room for a few weeks and she lays in it to play at times. But, last night I laid her down in it at 8pm, her usual bedtime, and she laid there watching us as Mogi finished his evening story time and then went to bed at 8:30. It all went smoothly. I did her "dream feed" at 9:30 with no problem.

And then I didn't hear a peep until 4am! A nice change from 12am, 1am, 3am.... you get the idea :)

The swaddle was loose, so I refastened, popped in the paci and climbed back into bed. At 6am she started to fuss and I moved her to her own crib in the next room. It turned out to only be a blip of belly gas, but I didn't want Mogi awakened.

She started her day at 7:15 and Mogi woke at 7:45. Not too shabby for a first try with no idea what I'm doing!!

But, I figure, even if they don't have an appreciation for it now, they will soon enough. I remember sharing a room with my younger brother for a few years when we were little and it was great.

Today they did a naptime together, since they both go down at 1p for a few hours. Mogi woke up a little early and awoke sister, but it wasn't bad. And they're back down for the night.

So, moms and dads out there, got any tips for room sharing?? Are there any unforeseen pitfalls I should look out for?? Help a mama out!!

Put Your Bread Machine to Work

2011-03-23T21:43:00.000-05:00

I keep having this recurring conversation where someone compliments me on my bread, then asks if its homemade. I answer, "Yes, I made it in the bread machine" and they reply "I have one of those, but I never use it."

The first few times this happened, I had to retrieve my jaw from the floor. But now that it's happened a ka-jillion times I've grown used to it. Well, I'm still a little curious why anyone would leave a $100 item sitting around unused. I mean, I get it if its "not your thing" but sell it already and get some cash!

Anyway, I'm writing this post for everyone out there who has a bread machine but rarely or never uses it because it takes too much effort and for those contemplating buying one. I thought I'd share how I keep the process simple. Bread has been getting more and more expensive in the last few years and although store bread usually has a good texture, its hard to find something with a good texture and great taste.

1. Unearth your machine and place it somewhere convenient and usable. If its buried you're never going to dig that bad boy out of a cabinet and find counter space for it. I keep mine on top of the deep freezer in the corner of the kitchen.

2. Get one or two recipes and use them repeatedly so you don't have to over think the process. Most machine manuals come with recipes that fit the size of your machine. I'd recommend a white bread recipe and a pizza dough recipe. When you're comfortable with these, you can swap some flour to make 1/2 wheat bread, cinnamon bread, or garlic Parmesan pizza dough. The possibilities are limitless.

3. Get all your ingredients in a convenient location so you don't have to spend a ton of time searching for them.

I keep my refrigerated items (yeast and butter) just inside the door and even cut some butter into the 2T. that I need so I don't have to dirty a knife.

I put the dry ingredients into smaller containers and even keep a measuring spoon and cups I need just to be used for bread. Then I keep all this in one container so its easy to grab and use.

I buy bread flour in bulk (25lbs) at S@ams Club and keep it in an airtight container. It actually was from cat litter we bought a lifetime ago but it fits the whole bag and the lid is super sturdy. And I got a smaller container from my mom that fits 5 lbs of whole wheat flour perfectly.

All my dry ingredients are kept just inside the pantry, which is right beside the machine, so I don't have to drag it far.

So when I need to use my bread machine I can do it quickly. And I know that whatever I make will turn out yummy. Lately I've found out how quick it it to make dough and then shape them into rolls, let them rise in the oven and then bake them! i can have hot rolls on the table in less than 2 hours. I'll admit, if you've worked all day away from home and just walked in the door, its not gonna happen. But, you can find time on the weekend and even get the kids involved in shaping rolls and then freeze some for during the week.

But, my favorite will always been fresh pizza! Here's one topped with onion, green bell pepper, pulled pork, feta and Swiss cheese!

Happy baking :)

Mothers of Miscarriage Survey

2011-03-21T13:13:00.000-05:00

Over at Muddy Mamas Ashlee is putting together information from moms who have walked through miscarriage in order to help friends and family know what to say/do (and not say/do) and also to help women who are currently grieving. If you've been through a miscarriage, like so many of us have, please hop over there and complete the survey. Its three or so posts down the page. Thank you!

http://muddymamas.blogspot.com/

These Children I Love

2011-03-15T23:42:00.000-05:00

I love my babies so very much. They are growing up so quickly and I am grasping at making the most of each day and cherishing it. Lots of hugs, kisses, snuggles, and praying that I would be the mom God has called and crafted me to be in each teachable moment. Here's a few pics of my darlings that I thought the world should see.

Those cheeks and big eyes get me every time

This one reminds me of my younger brother so much at the same age. We're really close in age so I don't know if its actual memories I have or just from pictures, but I see "Uncle Fff-lup" in his face!

Mogi is nothing if he's not full of energy and joy and playfulness. This picture captures his personality so well.

How could I not share this picture? He's just a shockingly beautiful child. Some day girls are going to be smitten with him and I pray that he would grow to be a man of self-control that would chose to honor women and save himself (heart, soul, and being) for the one that God has chosen to be his bride.

AJ has a captivating smile, even at 4 months old, but its hard to catch it on film. This one catches a bit of her cheerfulness.

Her personality may be limited at her young age, but it is distinctive and so different than her big brother's. She loves to cuddle and feel safe and get lots of eye contact. (Big brother was happiest have something to explore and being on the move.)

A little quality cuddle time with her Dani Ali. She's a true snuggle bug and would be okay being held every moment of the day. I pray that she would grow to know and love Jesus as her Lord and Savior and that she would treasure being held in the palm of His hand.

What are your prayers for your children? And what aspects of their personality do you revel in?

Struggle Out Loud

2011-03-12T22:44:00.000-06:00

Have you been going through some type of struggle lately, or maybe for years? Is it a "secret" struggle, one you keep only to yourself or share with a select few people? is it a "little" struggle? One you convince yourself you don't need to trouble anyone else about? Is it a "pervasive" struggle? One that you're convinced will always trouble you and nothing anyone else does will help you overcome it?

Here's why I ask: we all have struggles. Every. single. one. of. us. Whether Christian or not, male or female, young or old, you get the idea, we all have struggles. The difference is, will we gain victory over our struggle or will it gain increasing control over us?

I have become increasingly convinced that when we sit in silence and fail to admit our struggles and reach out to others WE AFFORD THE ENEMY OF OUR SOULS A FOOTHOLD INTO OUR HEARTS THAT CANNOT BE REMOVED UNTIL WE SPEAK ALOUD WHAT TROUBLES US.

Yes, I yelled that. Because the God of Heaven and Earth has been yelling it to me lately. And I have seen the truth of it over and over again in my own life and the lives of those I love.

Quit struggling in silence. I say this especially to my brothers and sisters in Christ, speak up! Silence allows the enemy to use the treacherous tools of fear, guilt and shame against us in ways that would not be possible if we would turn to others in the Church, the body of Christ, and speak our struggles and allow them to speak the truth of the Word over our lives.

I'll "tell" on myself.

I've been struggling with some loneliness lately. At times the sense of being alone will wash over me in a wave. Sometimes it moves beyond that and my mind begins to think "Do I have any friends? I never see anyone, never go anywhere, no one ever calls..."

If I don't catch the lies that are spinning in my head, it turns into quite a pity party that can grow out of control. But, on my own, in my own little head, its easy to miss the truth.

The truth is: if I'm in the will of God and following Christ's call on my life than He needs to be enough and I need to seek HIM more and ask Him to fill the longings of my heart. But, if something has gotten off track- maybe I'm getting consumed with my job and not taking the time to rest and enjoy relationships like I should- then after seeking wisdom from the Lord I should reach out to friends and spend some time enjoy the relationships in my life.

Unfortunately, the story in my head got left a little too long and started down the pity party route. I could have prevented that in a number of ways. I could have said something to Hubs. "I've really been feeling lonely today. I don't know what's going on but would you ray for me and spend a few extra minutes before you leave for work?" I could have said something to a number of people in my life, but I let it fester. And, in all honesty, in turned into an ugly little meltdown a week or so later. One innocent statement by a person I love set me into a tailspin. But, of course, they had no idea I was hurting because I'd never spoken the words!

STAYING SILENT WON'T MAKE IT GO AWAY OR LESSEN THE PAIN.

I got to thinking tonight about the poor in my community and wondered how many people in my church were suffering, really suffering from the economic downturn or other reasons. The truth is, I have no idea! We have a committee that handles providing help when people have needs. But, truth be told, isn't there a sort of shame associated with having financial needs, of being poor? is that Biblical? [Shame is never from God. He uses 'tactics' like remorse to cause us to see our shortfalls and act differently in the future. The enemy wants to use shame to keep us trapped in the past.]

What would happen in my church, in your church, if we refused to give into the shame and members stood and spoke of their financial needs? What would we look like to the rest of the community when church members compassionately gave to one another in need? How would the opportunities to be a witness to the Gospel of Jesus Christ increase? I believe it would be revolutionary. After all, isn't that what it means to be a body? To come to the aid of each other?

So, after my mini-meltdown, I contacted a few friends to ask for their prayers. I told them I'd been struggling with some loneliness and would appreciate their prayers for wisdom as to the source of it; was it a spiritual attack or a genuine need to make some lifestyle changes. And you know what? Each one of them told me they'd experienced or were in the midst of experiencing the same struggle. Those who had overcome shared how and what they did. Those in the midst shared words of truth that others had spoken over them. But, each of us were built up and encouraged.

We got to see 1 Corinthians 10:13 in action.

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. "

I could repeat this story over and over. When I shared with a Bible study group that I was being bombarded by guilt as a new mom each woman shared that they had the same experience and it WAS A COMMON TEMPTATION.

When I began to speak about my miscarriage openly, the fear that come with the loss began to melt away, and others were able to share their own stories of loss and find healing.

I urge you today, if you are weighed down under a "secret" struggle, speak. Not to groan and complain, but to speak truth and allow others to speak truth over you!!!

Finding Rest: Pt 2

2011-03-07T20:31:00.002-06:00

Flavored Coffee and bedtimes. Yes, it's that simple. I said in my post a few days ago, on my newest resolutions, that I go to bed at 10pm, but the kids also have very strict bedtimes. This means on even the hardest evenings I know that I can put them to bed and then have some time to myself. Time to brew a pot of decaf flavored coffee and climb under the covers and just veg out!

Here's one of my favorite coffee companies.

AJ's first days

2011-03-06T21:48:00.001-06:00

Here's some pics from AJ's first days and weeks that were trapped on my cell phone. I've only recently discovered how great Picasa is. I know, what rock have I been under?

Some Resolutions

2011-03-05T21:48:00.000-06:00

With all the effort that goes into being a mom of two (under two) and all the other things I have going on besides being "mom" I've had to go from being organized to being super organized. So, I've made a few resolutions to help me in that effort. It may not be New Year's, but after The Plague Winter 2011 I needed a kick in the pants to get things going. So, here they are:

1. Stay off Facebook until after 8pm. The only exception is posting pictures from my phone or linking things that I read since neither of these really suck me into Facebook and its multitude of distractions.

2. Go to bed at 10pm. I need my beauty rest and don't have time for a nap during the day.

3. Get up at 6am and meet Jesus before I meet anyone else. Believe me, I'm a much better person to be around if I've had time in the Word and focusing on what really matters. Even if it occasionally means forsaking a shower...

Her Royal Sweetness

2011-02-26T21:13:00.001-06:00

posted from Bloggeroid

Hi Five Sister!

2011-02-26T21:06:00.001-06:00

posted from Bloggeroid

A Brother's Love

2011-02-26T20:52:00.001-06:00

Mogi and AJ posing together. Big brother is showing us she has ears! Love these kids : )

Two Under Two: Today's Reality

2011-02-24T21:37:00.002-06:00

Note: This post was started on the 11th of February, but not finished until the 24th. We're all better now :)

Well, as usual, there's never a "dull" moment in our household. We've been dealing with what I call "the plague" for over a week. Mogi got sick first. He had what seemed like an innocent runny nose, I thought due to teething. But, the runny nose led to serious nasal congestion which led to chest congestion and a cough. So, we took him to the doctor and found out he had double ear infections and RSV. Oh boy! No wonder he was in such a world of hurt. If you're not familiar with RSV its a nasty respiratory virus that is harder to deal with in young children and older adults and can require breathing treatments.

We were concerned about baby girl getting sick and the doctor said it was too late to protect her. Between the incubation period and the fact that its airborne, he said that she'd most likely already come in contact with it. And how right he was. The next day she started showing symptoms. On Thursday she visited the doctor and tested positive for RSV. Thankfully she's had mostly nasal congestion and not so much of the chest-raking coughing that Mogi has. But, I did take her back to the doctor again yesterday and found out she now has an ear infection. Yikes! The local pharmacist and I are going to be on a first name basis very soon.

But along with sick kids, Hubs and I have also had our share of illness. Mine started Tuesday night with a fire-burning sore throat which came with some chills, aches, and an on again/ off again low grade fever. Friday I started feeling better and then that night got hit with cold symptoms full force. This morning I have horrible pressure behind on ear and can't hear very well. My self diagnoses is strep throat, a cold, and an ear infection. Hopefully I'll find a way to get to the doctor tomorrow and see what I can do to get well.

Hubs is a basket case of low grade fevers, sore throat and painful chest congestion...

Of course no one likes to be sick and we especially hate to see our children sick, but I've been a bit more bummed about all this for a rather selfish reason. I had just started to get back into a "groove" with my research when all this kicked off. And now I'm wondering how long it will take me to figure out where I was and get forward momentum again once we're all well...

But, I'm trying to keep in my mind a quote from a Bible study I'm doing these days. It's by James MacDonald entitled "Lord, Change My Attitude". So far, it is awesome. I am learning so much and being confronted by so many areas of my self that I need to work on and conform to the example of Jesus.

The first week of study talks about Complaining. Here's the quote:
"All the grace and strength you need to experience joy and victory are available to you; but by choosing to complain, by clinging to the idol of a perfect life, you are flushing away the grace of God."

Wow! Did that slap you upside the head like it did me the first time I read it? I wanted to jump out of my chair and say "What? Idol of a perfect life?? Wait, what??" Because until then I
1) hadn't realized I was trying to design a perfect life and
2) hadn't thought of it as idolatry.

But, all of a sudden the truth was glaring. Yes, life has ups and downs. We get sick. We are heart broken. But, they're not just things to get past and overcome. There is living to be done in them. God purposed them for His reasoning and my good.

And I admit I have so much left to learn. So much of my attitude needs to change. Just this morning when baby girl woke at 2am and needed fed, which is very unusual for her, I had a rotten attitude about it. I was frustrated that I haven't slept a good nights sleep in weeks and aggravated that Hubs was fast asleep while I fed her. It was not pretty.

So, here's my prayer:
"Lord, change my attitude. Make me more like You. Show me when my attitude is contrary to Your ways and allow me the grace to make it what it should be. Humbly yours."

Muddy Mamas

2011-02-24T14:00:00.000-06:00

Just wanted to share a new blog that I'll be contributing to: Muddy Mamas I'll still be writing on this blog as well, but it will be fun to share and learn from the other women writing for MMs. We start posts on March 1st, so be sure to check out our personal introductions on the first week and then info on what topics the blog will cover on the next week. And its not just for wives or moms, there will lots of ideas for making your home a simpler, happier place- like saving money on your food budget, having quality family time, getting organized, and others. But, they'll also be things like sappy love stories, dating your spouse, and the chaos of raising kids. In fact, I'll be sharing the story of how Hubs and I came to be husband and wife! I hope you'll check it out!

Finding Rest: Pt 1

2011-02-19T16:01:00.000-06:00

As a parent, regardless of my love for my children, I need to have some down time and things that I do apart from being mom. I'm learning that in order for me to give sacrificially to my family, I need to be healthy physically, emotionally, and mentally. So, in essence, to make them a priority, I have to be a priority.

In light of that, I thought I'd take a few posts and share some ways I relax, unwind, or just refresh.

And since we've just come out of weeks of sickness, I'm needing some refreshing and rest.
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My friend's had their first child a few weeks ago, so I thought they might enjoy something for his room. My friend shared with me what bedding they were using for the crib and I took some ideas and used that to inspire these.

If you need to fill some wall space in your kid's room, you can save a lot of cash by creating something yourself. You can get the supplies from a crafts store. You'd need a canvas, paint, a pencil, and brushes. If you're going for great quality, you might want to use primer- especially under a dark color. It took a lot of effort to cover the white canvas with the brown paint.

Paint comes in a wide variety of quality and prices. More vibrant colors will be more expensive. So if you want something really bright and beautiful, it will be worth the cost. A good set of brushes are worth buying. You don't have to spend much, but you'll have them to use again if you decide to do more painting.

I usually sketch my design on first in pencil before I paint and then decide which colors to paint in what order. The giraffes I did free hand from the bedding design, but you can always print off and trace anything that inspires you. And for the circles I used various sizes of tupperware containers!

The great thing about doing this yourself is that it doesn't cost much and if it seems "baby-ish" as your child grows, you can paint over it with no great loss!

I couldn't "quit my day job" to paint, but I do find it very relaxing. Of course, I only find time for it while little ones are sleeping because paint and little hands are not my idea of a good time!

I find it very rewarding at the end to step back and see what the outcome is. When I was in my early 20s, I spent some time working in "full-time" Christian ministry and found that because my work didn't have a physical product and outcomes were often unseen, it could be frustrating. In the same way as parents, our work to shape and mold our children can become frustrating if we expect to see "results" that don't happen in our time and ways. I think this kind of "tangible" hobby helps me have an outlet for creativity and the God-given desire for a "product". And, at the same time, allows me to be a better mom because I don't feel the need to turn my kids into my project. I can allow them to learn and grow in their time and in the way God has designed them. And I can have the ability to show them more grace when they "fail" to behave in the way I expect them to.

If you're not "Type A" like I am, that may not make much sense. But, I know we all can relate on some level.

You're One Crazy Kid

2011-02-06T15:47:00.004-06:00

My Mogi boy can be a wild man. He's just a stereotypical boy. Fearless, loud, rowdy, fast. Pick any testosterone induced adjective and he'd probably fit it. But, as much as he may wear me out from being a speed demon and all the rest, I always know that when bedtime comes he'll be fast asleep. Thankfully, sleep is not an issue unless he's sick or severely teething and both are a rarity. He's always down by 8pm and generally sleeps until 8am.

So, imagine my surprise (ummm... frustration) when after waking at 6:30am in hopes of getting coffee, my Bible reading, a shower, and feeding AJ done before his 8am wake up, I hear him calling my name at 6:45. What???

Now, every once in a while he'll wake up early, talk to himself and fall back asleep, but calling my name at that hour? So, I attempted to ignore him for a bit, but by 7am it was apparent something was off. So, I entered his room hoping I could give him his stuffed animal and get him to lay down a bit longer.

Except... guess what I found? A NAKED boy! Okay, so he wasn't REALLY naked. He was wearing socks after all. Yeah, you read that right. I put him to bed in full pajamas and found him standing in his crib with his diaper on the floor and his pajamas at his ankles. Only his socks were where I'd left them! I sure hope he wasn't like that all night!

It was so shocking it was comical. I don't suppose I'll ever know what caused him to strip, but I'm guessing that he played with the zipper and pulled it undone and then found the Velcro on his diaper and took it off. Anyway, his diaper was soaked and he'd also left "his mark" on the sheets.

What a way to start the day! Do you have a story of finding your child less clothed than when you left them?

Molly's Law of Motherhood #6

2011-02-04T13:44:00.001-06:00

Just when you think you've got it all under control and the kids are in good shape... the dog looses her mind!

Two Under Two: In Case of Emergency

2011-02-02T21:40:00.000-06:00

If you're like most parents, you probably made sure you had smoke detectors, a fire extinguisher, and other safety features around your house before you brought home your first child. But, did you revisit any of that before bringing home your second child? I didn't. I guess I didn't think safety would be much more different with more kids in the house. But, I soon found out I was wrong.

On November 17th, when AJ was just nine days old we had an emergency situation that caused us to leave our house in the middle of the night. By the grace of God we were all safe, and although no one ever wants to think of worst case scenarios, our situation could have been horribly worse.

It was an uneventful Wednesday night. Ro was home and my best friend was staying with us for the night from out of town. AJ was having some stomach problems so I found myself sitting in the recliner from 9pm onward trying to help her through the pain and hoping she'd sleep. But at nearly 11:30pm I realized that the air coming out of the vent was no longer warm but actually cold. And since it was around 40 degrees outside, the cold air was uncomfortable. I woke Ro and asked him to turn the heat off until we could figure out the problem.

He left the room and a few minutes later still hadn't returned. All of a sudden the power in the whole house went out. Hoping Ro knew what was going on, I called out to him. He responded that something had happened to the computer and he turned off the power. I walked toward where he was in the center of the house as he switched the main breaker back on. I quickly saw that several lights and an outdoor fan were surging dramatically and called for him to turn the power back off.

Standing in the hall outside Mogi's room with AJ in my arms, I was overcome by the need to get out of the house and protect the safety of our kids. I said, "something isn't right, we need to get out of the house." The moment I said those words I immediately heard fire truck's sirens on our street. The Mama Bear in me yelled to my best friend to get Mogi out of bed and get out of the house. And as we stepped out of the house we saw that the next door neighbor's house was on fire.

After we sought safety on another neighbor's front porch, I realized that my purse and keys were still in the house, along with AJ's car seat. Ro went back into the house, which still had the power off, and retrieved those items and we headed across town to my parent's home to get out of the cold and get the kids to bed.

I don't know if it comes across the page as a dramatic event, but it was very dramatic and a bit scary. We eventually found out that we had experienced a power surge that did damage to some appliances in our home and that the neighbor's home sustained extensive damage when a fire started at the meter box. It's a pure miracle that Ro was in the right place at the right time and saw our computer begin to surge and throw sparks or we could have had a worse fate.

But, all this got me thinking about safety. What if I had been home alone with my two kids? How would I have gotten them out of the house? Newborn babies are "floppy" and often require both hands to carry. And thirty pound 18 month toddlers do not move quickly when you need them too and certainly not in the middle of the night. I knew that I couldn't carry them both in my arms at the same time. I needed a plan.

Do you have an evacuation plan? Have you thought about it recently and included any new family members?

Well, mine's not fancy, but I have a plan in my head for what I'll do if I have to get both kids out of the house in an emergency.

At the time of our "evacuation" I had AJ's car seat in the kitchen on a chair so she could sit up at table level. Nice idea, but a difficult place to extract it from in a hurry. So, I now keep it right by the front door at all times.

I also make sure that my purse is in a certain place, especially at night, so I can grab it without thinking, and I keep my keys attached to the purse so they don't get carried off by a curious toddler without me knowing!

Both kids sleep in blanket sleepers, like Halo SleepSacks, so I don't have to worry about them being warm enough if it was cold outside, but if I did I would keep jackets and shoes in a bag by the door. And if you or your kids need medicines that would be hard to replace immediately, do you keep it in a place where it would go with you?

Well, I know this isn't an exciting post or a very happy topic, but I just felt the need to share. And I hope you'll be better prepared for an unforeseen event that I was...

Oops

2011-01-26T10:07:00.000-06:00

I didn't realize until my mom asked me that I was making it incredibly difficult for people to comment on the blog. I'd blocked annonymous comments thinking I'd keep "weirdos" from writing things, but... I was just causing issues. Sorry, mom. You can comment now : )

Two Under Two, the reality of it all

2011-01-24T22:25:00.001-06:00

When we decided to have our children close together it was mostly based on the fact that Hubs and I both have siblings close in age. Although I'm big into doing my research, there wasn't much info on having a second child and how that works out at home. Some people asked me how I would continue working on my PhD and I told them I didn't know. And really, I didn't. (Side note: I still don't have any idea how to get back into it, but that's another post.) I read a few magazine articles here and there on the pros and cons of various sibling age differences, but that was about it.

So, in an attempt to add to the conversation on having Two Kids Under Two, here are some excerpts from our life the last few months.

The first few weeks went dreamily. The grandparents were a constant presence, Hubs took a week off work, and Mogi barely acknowledged his sister. I really think he thought she was a toy or accessory of some type. She clearly didn't "move fast enough" for him and his always on the move kind of ways, so he just ignored her. AJ ate and slept and nothing else. If she was awake she then easily slipped into sleep without a trouble or care. She didn't cry and occasionally made adorable kitten-like sounds.

But, of course, newborns do wake from their foggy state. And grandparents go home. And husbands go to work. And when that happens there is a grand potential for all kinds of things to "break loose" and "hit the fan".

Eventually, Mogi not only realized AJ was staying around, he also began to see her as a competitor for our affection. The little boy who wouldn't stop long enough to sit in your lap was now begging and crying to be picked up and held! And, of course, it would come to a boiling point when I was home alone with the two of them : ) [Hence, Molly's Laws of Motherhood] I was glad to have Mogi showing more affection but it was such a drastic change that I couldn't manage it well.

I was also functioning on sleep deprivation mode. You always hear new moms being told "Sleep when the baby sleeps." But that only work for first time moms because even though AJ might have been sleeping, Mogi was still wide awake and ready to tear the house apart at any moment- did I mention he's a climber and thrower if given the chance? So, my longest stretch of sleep was four hours for five or six weeks after having had horrible sleep through the last trimester of my pregnancy. I could not begin to think straight.

But, the light finally began to appear at the end of the tunnel. AJ's daily routine got more predictable and consistent. She started going down easier for naps and at night. She started sleeping a longer stretch at night, sometimes over 8 hours. And Mogi stopped seeing AJ as competition. He started to laugh and smile at her when she made funny noises or made eye contact with him.

So, what would I tell someone if they asked for some tips? Here's a few things...

1. Even if your life is completely laid back with child #1 and you do nothing predictably, create some routines before #2 arrives. It will help #1 have some things to feel very secure about and it will make life easier on you when you can't think straight.
Mornings and bedtime are written in stone around here. They always happen the exact same way in order to make sure all that needs to get done does get done. A lot of it has to do with my kids personalities and needs but I can have both kids fed, dressed and in the car, ready to go in less than an hour in the morning. And with the evenings being a fussy time for most newborns its great to work out plans for dinner and bath times. I also need this kind of order because there are times I have both kids on my own due to Hubs work rotations.

2. Get a piece of furniture big enough, and small enough, for the three of you. One of the first nights that I had both kids on my own I sat down in the rocking chair to feed AJ and moments later Mogi came up with a book in his hands begging to get into my lap. It was heart breaking. At 30 lbs I couldn't pull Mogi onto my lap one-handed if I needed to, but there wasn't room for him either. The next day I dragged a love seat into the nursery and took the legs off so Mogi can climb up and down without worrying about him falling. It's nothing fancy, just a $20 Cr@igslist find, but so worth it. Now Mogi can climb up next to me and bring the books with him!

3. Consider potty training. I'm not saying you need to potty train #1 before #2 arrives, but if you wait until #2 arrives it may not work. You can hear about toddlerhood and all the emotional changes that take place, but until it really happens, you have no idea. It was if someone flipped a switch one day and I woke up to a boy that no longer was thrilled to have my praise but instead was determined to do things his way. Now he wasn't perfect boy before this switch, but positive attention and praise often swayed his behavior. It doesn't work as well now and "I DO!" is now his favorite phrase. So, if you think you'll start potty training #1 after #2 is born, realize that between toddlerhood and the demands of a newborn it may take a lot more work than you expect.

4. Make good sleep habits a priority. Do you remember the first time your first child slept a rediculously long stretch at night? I do. It was as if life had begun again. I could put him to bed, get a few things done, go to bed and wake up the next day rested! Well, reaching that point is no less spectacular the second time around. I've relied heavily on the "Sleep Training" methods layed out in the Baby Whisperer's books. A swaddle, the "shush-pat", and a good lullaby are priceless!

5. Baby needs her space. I'd planned on AJ sleeping beside me at night in a bassinet and had a crib for her in the "Kid's Room" with Mogi's crib, but I quickly realized that it was unrealistic to think she could nap in the room while he was in there playing. And due to Hub's work rotations, she couldn't sleep in my room every day of the week. She needed her own place. So, I made some space for her in my office. It's not ideal, its a little too close to the commotion of the guest bathroom and I have to work very quietly if she's napping, but its working. So, even though kids can share a room once nap schedules coincide, until then they need a quiet space. But, let me be honest, the thought of sharing my office for the next year or so doesn't sound so appealing : /

Anyway, that's all the "wisdom" I have for now. I'd love to hear any stories from the "trenches" from those who also have two close in age, no matter what age they are now.

And as a reward for reaching the end of this very long post, here's a little happy moment from Potty Training Land : )

Confessions

2011-01-20T20:59:00.001-06:00

My friend wrote an entry with some confessions today. Another blogger had inspired her. I've been inspired to bare a bit of my soul...

1. I'd much rather be sleeping than writing this, but my 2 month old needs her "dream feed" in 30 minutes so I'm trying to stay awake and be "productive".

2. I have no financial saavy. Too many times I have paid bills just in time to keep the power from being disconnected. I think one time it actually did get disconnected. We have the money, I just don't always have the memory to get it done.

3. I really enjoy fast food and I hate that I do! I'd eat it for breakfast or lunch everyday if my wallet and waistline could handle it.

4. I think I'm addicted to Dr. Pepper, Dr. K., Mr. Pibb or whatever other name the "drug" goes by. I've had to stop buying it so I won't drink it like a maniac. I can't handle having it in the house lately. But, its usually what I order if I break down and eat fast food.

5. My short-term memory is so bad these days that if my routine gets out of whack I can easily forget to change my newborn's diaper before she goes down for a nap.

6.I thought this post would be amusing, but its just feeling depressing. Stopping now...

Newborn Schedule at 2 Months

2011-01-19T21:42:00.000-06:00

First, if you hate the word 'schedule' used with kids or babies, don't get yourself too worked up. I've never refused to feed my child because she woke "too" early from a nap or woke her up to eat because it was 5 minutes past her "wake time". Instead, I use the schedule as a type of routine to help me know what I need to get done when so I can meet my obligations and give her the care she needs.

So, here's what an idyllic day looks like in AJ's World:

7:40a Wake her up to start the day and have her first feeding, whether she's awake or not
8:00 Change diaper and head off to get Big Brother Mogi out of bed and dressed.
8:15 Hang out in kitchen while others eat breakfast
8:50 Swaddle and lay her in crib to (hopefully) lull herself asleep for a nap. If I don't pay attention to her and how long she's been up I potentially wait too long and she's strung out and needs a lot of calming to be able to sleep. being able to lay her down and essentially " walk away" is much easier on all of us.
11a & 2p Routine starts over
(Basically I follow the E.A.S.Y. routine from the Baby Whisperer and adjust how soon she goes down for her nap based on her behavior; red eyes, glazed stare, jerky movements, yawning...)
5p Feed and change diaper
5:30 hang out in kitchen while family has dinner
6:15 Swaddle and down for rest/nap time whether she falls asleep or not.
7:00 Feed AGAIN
7:30 Bath, diaper and dress.
8:15 Swaddle and lay in crib to fall asleep on own.
8:45 usually asleep by this time
9:45 "Dream Feed" This is another Baby Whisperer method: without waking her I gently take her from crib, still swaddled, and feed her until she stops eating. If she's too sound asleep to eat, that means I waited too long to feed her. Disturbing her sleep will only mess up her night sleep and cause her to wake at night when I don't want her to.
-Hopefully she'll sleep until morning, but she could also need a feeding at 5am or so.

A few caveats: if I have to be somewhere I'll wake AJ early and feed her so we can get there, or feed her extra before her nap so if she does wake while we're out she's not starving and mad. Also, since its a 3 hour routine, I never let her sleep longer than a 3 hour stretch during the day. This isn't likely to happen, but if she was disturbed previously and only got a brief nap and went down early after eating, it could happen. A lot of people say "don't wake a sleeping baby" but I disagree and think at some point you should wake them. That way they won't get their day and nights confused and/or wake up at night to eat because they didn't eat enough in the daytime.

Sleep is a huge priority in our house and I make it my responsibility as a mom to see that my kiddos get all the sleep they need to be healthy. As a former middle school teacher, I saw what lack of proper sleep did to kids 'attitudes and performance. As a result, its been my goal to make sure our children develop healthy sleep habits and its paid off. I can count on one hand the times Mogi has woken at night in the last year and he sleeps a solid 11-12 hours every night. He's not a perfect child, but I truely believe it allows him to feel his best and have the chance for his brain to rest and grow that it needs.

Happy Sleeping!

Bragging Rights

2011-01-19T15:08:00.000-06:00

So just for fun I thought I'd share some highlights on my little girl...

On Monday AJ was 10 weeks old.

For the last two weeks or so she goes down by 9pm and doesn't wake until 5am or so to feed. Then she sleeps until 8am-ish. Mogi-boy didn't do this consistently until he was 3 months old. I can't begin to explain how grateful I am for more and better sleep and the chance to get more done while both kids are asleep.

But last night was a real winner. Sometimes I get lazy, don't we all? And I don't keep AJ on a consistent routine. But children really thrive on routines and my laziness is usually "rewarded" with extra wake-ups at night and a loss of sleep.

So I've really nailed down a PM routine for AJ (which is the hardest time of day 'cause Hubs is gone working the night shift). Last night I put it in place and was given a real reward as a result. AJ went down at 8:15 and her morning feed was at 7:40! Yay!!! Tomorrow I'll write a post on her evening schedule/routine for anyone who might find it useful.

On another note, today was her 2 month well-baby check up. She seems to be thriving. Her weight is up to 11 lb 14 oz, a 2 lb 4 oz gain from last month, and she's grown another inch in length. Way to grow, baby!!!

Molly's Law of Motherhood #5

2011-01-14T07:17:00.002-06:00

If you leave home without the double stroller, turn around and go back and get it. (Don't worry, you can thank me later.)

Molly's Law of Motherhood #4

2011-01-14T07:16:00.000-06:00

Never, ever carry what you can put in the double stroller.

Molly's Law of Motherhood #3

2011-01-14T07:14:00.004-06:00

A clean diaper is an open invitation to poop!

Molly's Law of Motherhood #2

2011-01-14T07:14:00.001-06:00

The day you need everyone to sleep until their regular wake-up time is when they'll both be up an hour early!

Molly's Law of Motherhood #1

2011-01-14T07:13:00.000-06:00

Everybody's all smiles until dad leaves the house and then it all falls apart...

New Year, Bigger Family

2011-01-12T14:14:00.000-06:00

I'll just briefly say how very aware I am that I haven't written in FOREVER, but I have a wonderful "excuse"- pregnancy and a newborn!

The last few months of my pregnancy were as exhausting as ever and any moment I had I spent with my family or sleeping. I should say, trying to sleep. From 9pm to almost 1am every night baby girl would get incredibly active. It was impossible to sleep.

Despite all that, we welcomed AJ to the world on November 8th at 4:22am.

I don't know if the circumstances of her birth are a foreshadowing of the future, but I'll just say it was a bit dramatic. Labor was very short and fast and if it took us 5 minutes longer to get to Labor and Delivery she'd have been born in the car. (I'll spare you additional details!)

A very "cool" thing is some of the similarity in Mogi's birth and AJ's.
1. Both were born on a Monday.
2. Both Monday's were on the 8th of the month.
3. Both of those Mondays I had doctor's appointments scheduled.
4. In both cases an induction was imminent, but in neither case was it my first choice.

Both kids look a lot alike, except AJ is this tiny wisp of a girl and Mogi has been a hulk of a boy from day one. When the nurse handed her to me I almost had to ask if she was "okay" because she seemed so itty-bitty compared to her Big, big brother. But by God's grace she was and is in perfect health.

We're settling into life as a family of four. Each day is easier, just as it is when you have #1. AJ is sleeping a wonderful stretch at night and has a more predictable routine during the day. Mogi, although seemingly unaware of his new sister at first, began to experience a whole new range of emotions and had a challenging time for a while. He still seems to be in full-on toddler hood and all that brings, but the emotional swings and jealousy are easing.

I won't lie, caring for two children who are both so young and needy can have impossible moments- like when they both awake from naps at the same time, crying, hungry and with dirty diapers- but I have a great sense of joy from both of them and am glad they are close in age and will grow up as friends and playmates. When AJ coos or smiles, Mogi wants so much to "play" with her and I look forward to them both being at a stage where they can.

But, I'm also enjoying the "right now". I love having AJ close by and am in no rush for her to exit the baby stage. She has a laid back, pleasant personality and takes most things in stride. And Mogi is learning so many things so rapidly these days. Its fun and exciting to hear him call things by name and use words that he's only just learned. His vocabulary is expanding quickly. He's all boy- too rough on his toys, wants to throw objects and climb on furniture and would stay outside all day (if only his mom and sister could bear the cold!)

Here's a family picture on Christmas Eve. (AJ is in desperate need of a nap and we've kept her awake to get pictures. Oops.)

As we develop our routines and schedules, I hope to make time for blogging more regularly!

Miscarriage: Two Years Later

2010-09-10T20:00:00.001-05:00

Unless you've read every post in this blog or I've shared it in conversation, you may not know that I am in my third pregnancy, carrying our second-soon-to-be-born child. What? Why, that means we lost a child along the way. It was our first pregnancy and our loss happened two years ago.

Two years ago means I have a bit more distance and perspective on it, I guess. I went back and re-read my October 8, 2008 post and couldn't help the tears that rolled down my face. It's sad. It was. It will be.

My hope in writing this is that other couples may be comforted a bit by our story and that I won't forget what I learned through all of it.

At the time, I felt very alone in our loss. Miscarriage isn't a topic of common conversation. It never comes up in mixed company and I've mainly only heard it discussed post-loss, when prayer requests are being shared for someone. But, many times when a loss happens very early in pregnancy most couples may not even have shared their pregnancy publicly, so to share the news of a miscarriage may feel incredibly awkward... hence, there ends up being a good bit of isolation.

If you're reading this and have had a miscarriage or are in the midst of one, please know you're not alone in your loss. Many women and couples have experienced what you are going through. Our stories and pain are different, but you don't have to be alone in your journey. And its okay to talk about your loss, even if you cry or you think other people may feel "awkward" hearing you share.

I talk about miscarriage now. Not like a public speaker or anything, but I bring it up in conversation. I mention the fact that we experienced miscarriage. I talk about how common it is. I say that my first child was lost and it was a deeply painful experience that changed me.

I'm not looking for a "Girl Scout" badge on miscarriage or pity or anything. I just want people to know its okay to talk about.

So, two years later...

I would never a million times over chose to have had a miscarriage. I believe in the providence and sovereign control of God, but even so I don't begin to think I can explain God's purpose in miscarriage. My only comfort is that this same God willingly allowed His own Son's sacrifice for the redemption of all humanity, so he knows a thing or two about loss and grief.

I did receive a gift from our miscarriage, though. A priceless gift about motherhood. It was simply this: The fear that overwhelmed me in the face of losing my child could either grip me for the rest of my life or I could chose to overcome it. Because, honestly, motherhood allows daily, even hourly, opportunities for fear. The worst and greatest fear is losing a child, whether in utero or at some later point.

Faced with the reality that from here on out I could be constantly consumed by fear and the "what ifs" that motherhood brings, I chose to not let fear win. I'm so grateful for the opportunity to have learned this. I can't imagine how much joy would be robbed from my life if every day was a struggle with fear.

Are you struggling with fear right now? The "what ifs" of motherhood? Whether it is an unborn child or a teenager heading to high school, may I encourage you to do all that is in your realm of responsibility as a mother and then step back and trust the sovereign Hand of God? Liberate yourself from the shackles of fear. I know you won't regret it.

Philippians 4:4-7

'Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. '

Fall Schedule

2010-09-09T21:31:00.000-05:00

I could begin with explanation as to why I haven't written in FOREVER... I'll try not to make it sound too pitiful, but I was sick in one form or another for weeks and Mogi has gone through some sickness and lots of teething too. I had a cold which lingered for weeks and turned into a sinus infection. Both were rough and then when I should have been feeling better I got dehydrated. That ended up sending me to the hospital for fluids and took another week to get my full (pregnant) strength back. I've also been having issues with being able to sleep at night. I was feeling like an insomniac, awake half the night and exhausted all day, but a visit to the doctor has resolved some of that. So, writing just hasn't been on my radar.

Over the last two weeks I have gotten into a bit of routine for work/life and its nice. Simply having a routine makes me feel like a saner person, and its a comfortable routine for me. Mogi also has a new routine with consistently taking one nap a day and that helps my schedule too. Also, he started walking the weekend of August 21st and then started "preschool" on August 31st. I think between the two he uses up so much energy that he needs a long, solid nap each day.

So, here's some of my current work/lifestyle goals: (By the way, being in "school" and having child care help that are college students keeps me in the semester-at-a-time mindset. Although this isn't everyone's reality, it is helpful to have shorter term goals and plans with young children in the home. Their needs/abilities change rather rapidly and you find the need for frequent reassessment at new stages.)

1. Have ~20 hours a week for work/research with no child responsibilities, but also a few of those hours where I can leave the house and run to campus if needed.

2. Have a daily/weekly routine for Mogi that can be maintained after AJ's arrival so that he has a good sense of consistency and doesn't feel as if his entire world got turned upside down.

3. Have times where I can rest and/or scale back house/research workload when I feel tired or overwhelmed.

4. Contain work/research times so that there is definite family time to spend with Hubs and Mogi.

5. Work during daylight hours so that when Mogi is in bed I can sleep, hang out with Hubs, or do whatever interests me. (I am not productive or motivated to work at night.)

6. Have flexibility so that I can enjoy Hub's days off. (He has a rotating schedule that is anything but 9-5.)

Here's my resulting week:

Monday/Wednesday/Friday
7:00a- Wake up, get some coffee/snack, spend time reading Bible and in prayer
7:45- Jump in the shower, get dressed.
8:00- Mogi is awake. Change his diaper, get him dressed, and give him some milk.
8:20- Fix my hair and face while Mogi plays in his room.
8:30- Breakfast for everyone who is home. I've been on a bagel w/PB kick. Mogi either has an iron-fortified cereal with milk or bagel w/PB and then some fruit plus more milk.
9:00- Clean up breakfast mess and any mess from the night before, if there is one. Mogi plays with toys in the kitchen (pots and pans, tupperware cabinet, or playhouse) while I work.
9:15- Work on more chores in the kitchen if I have them (laundry, baking, food/dinner prep, etc) or head to Mogi's room to play with toys.
10:00- Head out to run errands if we have them, taking a snack along. Have a family adventure if Ro has a day off.
11:30- Usually back home. Chill out by reading some books or watching a Baby Einstein video together.
12p(noon)- Lunch
If Hubs is home, we usually end up eating previous nights leftovers or I'll whip something interesting out of leftovers (quesadilla from leftover pork BBQ). He's not big on sandwiches. If we do eat sandwiches, I make grilled cheese and meat.
If its just Mogi and I we choose from the following: noodles and tomato sauce (aka spaghetti); lunchmeat, cheese and bread; "pizza" (mini-bagel or tortilla with a pepperoni, red sauce and cheese warmed on top); PB and J; baked beans; black bean quesadilla. We usually save fruit for the end of the meal. I try to give him a serving of yogurt with active cultures once a day. Some days its at a snack, other days during lunch.

12:20- Mogi goes down for afternoon nap. When he goes down I try to put in 2 hours of research.
2:15- I try to get a moment of rest with my feet up. If I get lucky I close my eyes for a few minutes.
3:00- Mogi is awake from his nap (Usually between 2:45 and 4p, depending on his mood and what we've been up to). Diaper change and cup with milk and free play in his room or where ever I am. If Ro is around, and especially is Mogi hasn't seen him earlier in the day, he runs straight for him and "demands" some attention.
3:30 Snack for Mogi. Usually crackers of some type, a small amount of fruit, and more of his milk.
4:00- Dinner prep/cooking and house cleaning/vacuuming/de-cluttering. A good bit of this occurs in the kitchen with music going so we can dance and play.
4:30- Family time. Ro is usually around at this time, so the boys may play together while I finish in the kitchen, or we all hang out and play.
5:15- Dinnertime. We all eat together at the kitchen table.
6:00- Dinner clean up.
6:15- Outside playtime (swinging, blowing bubbles), visit the grandparents, or go to the pool.
7:20- Snack(milk and graham crackers) then bath time
7:45- Diaper, PJs, story, cuddle...
8:00- Mogi's bedtime
8:01- My freetime! I try to really watch minimal TV. Right now I enjoy some Tuesday night programs, other than that I try not to switch it on. Maybe a Netflix movie with Hubs once a week. Catch up with Facebook or blogs. Write a blog. Finish folding any laundry that is leftover. figure out what I need to be ready for the next day.
9:00- My bed time, 4 out of 7 nights
9:45- My bedtime the other nights. If I stay up later I regret it. Its just how much sleep I need when I'm pregnant!!!

Tuesday/Thursday
My wake up stays the same except I have to have the face done and minimize hair so that at
8:20- Breakfast for Mogi and I
8:35- Double check the diaper bag and refill milk cup
8:40- Load up the mini-van and head to "preschool"
8:50- Drop Mogi off at "school"
9:05- Back at home starting my work day.
11:30- Sitter comes by and swaps her car for mini-van and heads to get Mogi from school. I take a quick break to get his lunch together and take food back to my desk to eat.
12p- Sitter is home with Mogi, feeds him lunch and gets him ready for a nap.
12:20- Mogi naps and the "regular" schedule resumes. (If I've left the house for whatever reasons the sitter stays until I get back).

Saturday
I often sleep in until Mogi wakes me, unless we have somewhere to be. Anything goes for the rest of the day, but mealtimes are pretty solid. Every two weeks Ro and I attempt to have a "date night". lately we've been swapping with some friends and their daughter which works well.

Sunday
Same early morning routine.
9:00- Leave for Sunday school at church.
12:30- Make it home from service. Mogi usually fell asleep in car and doesn't eat lunch with us.
3:30- Routine resumes but we regularly try to have family dinners with my brother, sister-in-law, and parents, depending on who is in town. This is often from 5 to 8pm and happens at our house.

I often think "How do other working mom's get it all done?" Well, I don't get it all done and usually have "dragging" ends or overdue "to-do" lists, but maybe this schedule will help others who are wondering how to best structure their day for their family and work.

Got any tips or schedule ideas? Feel free to share them...

Sewing Course in Jacmel, Haiti

2010-08-16T19:34:00.000-05:00

Since the quake back in Januaruy, I have been reading the blog of Gwenn Mangine, a missionary to Haiti with her family. She and her husband are house parents with Joy in Hope/Haitian Children's Home in Jacmel, Haiti. And although being an American serving as a missionary in Haiti has its own challenges, their challenges have been multiplied and amplified as a result of the massive earthquake. Anyway, I'll let you read her blog to see how they're journey is going.

A few days ago tho', she shared that her MIL would be visitng and holding a sewing clinic. Please read her post and see if you're able to help with their collection. I plan to put whatever supplies I can gather in the mail by September 10th, so if you'd like to donate, let me know and get titems to me before then.

I was blessed to be taught by my mom how to sew at a young age. I know the skills they will be learning will be beneficial to the children there, for their own care, but also as a possible source of income as they reach adulthood.

Please help with donating items as you are able.

Out of the Infirmary

2010-08-16T14:52:00.001-05:00

Well, I'm not sure that anyone noticed but a few weeks back I said that I had a some things around the house to wrap up and then I'd write multiple posts.

Except... nothing ever came. Instead I ended up getting sick. It was quite a doosy for me. The hardest I'd been hit in a while. Nothing earth-shattering, just your usual cold. But, the exhaustion of a cold on top of the exhaustion of new life in one's body and... well, you get the idea.

I actually had one day where I did nothing other than sit on the couch or lay on the bed. I did not lift even a finger to care for my son! Obviously, my generous, kind, and energetic Hubs was here to be my hero and take over the running of the house. But, it also made me realize that it was probably the first day since we left the hospital with Mogi-man that I had zero responsibilities!!

In the end my cold morphed itself into a painful sinus infection and irritating conjunctivitis! Thank God for modern medicine and antibiotics! After a trip to the doctor I am feeling immensely better. I actually took a look at myself in the mirror today and my immediate reaction wasn't "Poor, poor pitiful me". It's awfully nice to be feeling well again : )

You May Be In Trouble When...

2010-08-04T20:40:00.000-05:00

My anniversary is in October. We will celebrate seven years of marriage. Knowing that waiting until the last minute will do me no good, I brought up the topic recently...

Me: "Are we going to do anything for our anniversary?"

Him: "Like what?"

Me: "I don't know, I'm just wondering."

Him: "It's just a few weeks before the baby comes."

Me: "Exactly."

Him: "Like a vacation? We just went to Asheville?"

Me: "Asheville? What are you talking about?"

Him: "For our anniversary!"

Me: "That was two years ago!"

Him: "Oh! Really?"

Me: "Yes!"

So, I'm thinking I'm the one in trouble here. Poor man doesn't realize its been two years since we took an overnight out-of-town that wasn't related to work or school.

Now, I'm not looking for anything fancy here. When we went to Asheville, that was my surprise to him. We were gone Thursday through Sunday, including travel, and paid around $400 including travel and our cute little cabin.

I just think it would be nice to have a night or two out-of-town, even if we take along Mogi-boy. And actually that wasn't even my intention in bring up the topic, but... now that he's mentioned it : ) Well, I'm "working" on him. We'll see how it turns out!

Wrapping It Up

2010-08-02T21:00:00.000-05:00

Ugh, I haven't written much over the last week, but my days have been really full. And a bit chaotic. And by the time I get to this hour of the night (9pm) the only thing I can think straight about is cookie dough ice cream and getting some sleep.

But, I do have some recipes to share that we enjoyed last week, and some thoughts on my next phase of school/research, and some antics about being a mama to "mocha drops", but not tonight.

So, stay tuned. I've got a few more rough days and then things should smooth out a bit and I can write something interesting... well, that's the hope anyway : )

Philippians 2

2010-07-30T14:44:00.000-05:00

I've started posting more as of last and have been thinking about the things I post. I wanted to evaluate whether my motives were self-seeking or vain. The Spirit of God brought Philippians 2 to my mind. It's a book filled with practical application and so often functions as a mirror to remind me of the condition of my soul. So, I thought I'd share it with you, whoever may happen upon this post. t gently reminded me why I should live in the way that it exemplifies: because of the example Christ set for his followers and the blessings of being united with Him that are poured out on us.

Ahhh, its a refreshing thought. I don't have to wait for someone else to initiate kindness and peace towards me in order to live peaceably with those around me. No, Christ has already initiated peace towards me, and that's more than I'll ever need!

Philippians 2 (New International Version)

Imitating Christ's Humility

"1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

6Who, being in very nature[a] God,

did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,

7but made himself nothing,

taking the very nature[b] of a servant,

being made in human likeness.

8And being found in appearance as a man,

he humbled himself

and became obedient to death—

even death on a cross!

9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place

and gave him the name that is above every name,

10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,

in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,

to the glory of God the Father.

Shining as Stars

12Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.

14Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe 16as you hold out[c] the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. 17But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. 18So you too should be glad and rejoice with me."

Last Class

2010-07-29T20:03:00.001-05:00

I went to my last class today. Like the last class of my last class needed for my PhD credits! I couldn't be happier.

My project didn't end up anything great, but I got it done and made my presentation. And my house is still standing, and my husband and I are speaking, and my son is in one piece. Not too shabby all in all. And I'm worn out, but not strung out, a world of difference...

So, if you prayed for my sanity, I thank you for it. God provided time to get it all done, even when it seemed like time was quickly slipping away. (Did I mention I barely had babysitting coverage last week because Mogi's teething got so bad with a fever and the "runs" we weren't sure if he was getting the flu or something. So, we really didn't want to expose anyone else just in case. But, the day after his tooth broke through it all calmed down and even his appetite came back.)

I do have a little more work to finish for my online class between now and Tuesday, but that should not be a problem.

Happy Friday : )

Marriage as a Priority

2010-07-27T21:13:00.000-05:00

My friend Ashlee over at Clay Woman is blogging a series about keeping marriage as a priority throughout different life stages. Check it out!

Clay Woman: Making Marriage a Priority: Before the Ring: "So it might sound a little strange to talk about making marriage a priority for someone who is not married, however, the foundation for your..."

Avoidance and Distractions

2010-07-27T07:06:00.000-05:00

Right now I am in the thick of this "class" project and with T-minus 48 hours until my presentation, I SHOULD NOT be writing a post, but...

Ugh, this project is killing me. Killing me slowly, killing me softly, whatever, its just killing me. And right now, I'd rather being doing even the dishes (I despise dishes) than working on this. But, avoidance isn't going to get it done and its going to be staring in my face when I finish this post.

Okay, just so you know how "ugh" I am, here's my attempt at an analogy of how poorly this project is fairing:

Imagine you're in charge of making a birthday cake. It's the first birthday cake you've made but you found a book and instructions and ingredients and Martha Stewart assures you she can guide you through the process of making a flawless 3-layer cake with meringue icing. Only you get to the kitchen to make and bake your cake and find out to your horror that there isn't an oven to bake your cake. In fact, the only thing you have is a grill on the back porch.

But, you've GOT to make this darn cake. So, despite the fact that you don't have any idea what ingredients you should be using or how long to cook it, you start fuddling through attempts at making something that you can call a cake.

After what feels like 40 attempts you're pretty darn frustrated and about to give up. Your only hope is the possibility that the people eating the cake know as little about what a good cake should taste like as you hope!

Yeah, weird analogy, but that's me right now. Hoping I can "fake the funk" and no one will bother to call my bluff on it! Not my usual method when it comes to work, but as the saying goes "desperate times call for desperate measures"! I'll let you know how things turn out in a few days.

Happy Grilling!

Good, good, good stuff

2010-07-26T12:22:00.001-05:00

I recently added a box on hear with blogs I read. There are more for me to add, and my profile contains those I follow, but I had to just say something about the first one I got on there: Hope for Orphans Blog.

This is GOT TO READ kind of stuff. It's real. Real people, real stories, real lives being changed. I haven't once read it without being brought back to what is really important. It helps keep me from getting all wrapped up in the silliness of life versus what is really important. It reminds me of Jesus. It reminds me of the eternal.

Now, I know not every person has a big old spot in their heart for adoption, foster care, and orphans, like I do (hope to write on that sometime), but even still, this is a good read. It's a great read! Time well-worth spent!

Ok, go read it!

Never Been Prouder to be a Cloth Diaper Family

2010-07-25T19:53:00.002-05:00

During a summer as hot as this one, I'm sure glad I can put some of this solar heat to good use!

Dreaming in Colors of Kitchen Renovation

2010-07-24T10:24:00.002-05:00

Our kitchen is a nice sized 13x13' room, but miserably designed. Guess that's what happens when a house is built in the 1930s. As far as I can tell from some online research, the house probably had a wood burning stove of some type, a sink and a place to eat when it was built. Sparse is the optimal word.

The reason the design drives me bonkers is several-fold: 1) The fridge and stove are on one side of the room with only 12" of workspace! 2) The sink is on the opposite side with only 24" of workspace! 3) Cooking is further frustrated by a dining table that seats 6 smack in the middle of the room 4) I like having people in the kitchen but it only further congests the space.

Due to the economy, and the sheer workload of moving, we're investigating the possibility of improving on what we have. Of course its no guarantee that we'll get the work done, but it does have me daydreaming, and researching.

A few weeks ago I headed to our Home Depot and spoke to someone about where to begin the process. I knew to have an intelligent conversation with a builder I'd need to know what kind of cabinetry and countertops I wanted. So, I got some booklets and headed home to scour them.

I've always been into simpler furnishings with clean lines, casual styles with classic appeal. I'm no trend setter. So, when I came across the Shaker style I was hooked. We'll see how close we actually get to true Shaker cabinetry, depending on costs, but that's my inspiration. Here's a kitchen that I came across from a UK designer, John Lewis of Hungerford, that I really dig...

That blue is a close match to what is currently on our kitchen walls, but I probably wouldn't put it on cabinets. I do like the differing shades with a lighter on the top. Right now I'm thinking white upper cabinets, very appropo for the cottage style of our house, and a blue/green shade for the bottom and island.

Hosta by Martha Stewart Living at The Home Depot

I love how calming the Hosta is. And I'm guessing it will do a good job at hiding dirt, dust, and everything a well-lived-in house acquires.

Here's a few wall shades I like.

Cyprus Grass by Glidden at The Home Depot

Gobi Tan by Behr at The Home Depot

We had a nearly identical color to the Gobi Tan throughout a previous home and I loved it. It was great at both day and night, not too dark, not too light. But, our kitchen looks onto a park and lots of trees, so I'm wanting to keep it earthy and the Cyprus Grass might be a great choice too.

Some of it depends on what the surface of our walls end up being. Originally the entire house had horse-hair plaster. Most of it is in good shape, some of the walls have been "fauxed" with more recent updates to match the style. But, in the kitchen, some previous owner had the brilliant idea to cover the plaster with 1970's wood paneling. You know, the wide, dark brown kind that is often found alongside shag carpeting!

Painting the paneling was one of my first projects when we bought the house. It's amazing what a difference a little paint can make. But, in the process I found out that two things were done to the plaster when the paneling was installed: 1) glue was put on top of the plaster to attach the paneling and 2) nails were put into the plaster. So, the plaster is a disaster. I don't know if its worth the time and money to restore it or what kind of time and money would even be involved.

Well, I'm running long, so here's my goals as we consider the possibility of renovation:
1) A defined work/cooking area that does not cross paths with other activities.
2) A defined eating area that is out of the work space and can also be used for (down the road) homework and other projects.
3) A desk spot with a central family computer and "control hub" with a master calendar.
4) Flow from the kitchen into a main hang out/living space so that cooking doesn't involve being quarantined from all the other action in the house.
5) Enough storage for what we need to keep the basics well organized and accessible.

That's not too much for a girl to ask, is it?

Nursery Art- Crafty on the Cheap

2010-07-23T20:37:00.000-05:00

I decorated a canvas this week for the nursery door that has a more co-ed theme. The previous canvas had Mogi's name on it. Not sure how AJ would feel about that : )

I saw a similar canvas online and basically copied the idea. It took me four days to get it done with a very curious 13 month-old "underfoot", but it was worth it! I had thought of adding a Bible verse to it, but my handwriting isn't the steadiest and I would have been really bummed if that "messed" it up!

Did I mention it was cheap? (A recurring theme in our life!) The canvas was one that I've had for 10 years, literally, and repurposed multiple times. If you have to buy one they run $7-8 at the art store. I splurged and bought some new brushes that were $4, but I had a 40% off coupon, so $2.40. And then I had the green and brown paint from other projects. The green was good quality acrylic for painting (~$4) and the brown was craft paint. The price tag on it actually says $0.57! And the white paint was also craft acrylic and was $1.27.

Buying something like this in the store or online is likely $25 or upward. And I'm no artist, so if I can do it, anyone can. I painted on the green on Day One. Day Two I drew the cross outline in pencil, erasable, and then painted the white keeping an edge within the cross where the brown outline would be. Day Three I did the brown stripes, the hardest part for me. I'd never attempted zebra before, but I happen to be an animal print fan, as you can see from the picture, and had a few samples to draw inspiration from. One Day Four I added the brown dot edge and touched up the stripes with a super small brush.

Oh, and may I recommend 3M's picture hangers? They're sold almost everywhere, and while pricey, well worth it. This will hang on a solid wood door that I don't want to mark, and I've also used them on the plaster we have on our walls. Basically its a tab with sticky on one side and velcro on the other. With two of them back to back, you peal the adhesive, stick it on your artwork and then press it against the wall. It bonds in 30 seconds and after it sets for an hour you can peel the two halves if its crooked and needs leveled. I'm probably no explaining it well, but if you don't want a hole in your wall or any damage, check it out!

And I've been feeling the need for some projects of the creative nature, so they'll probably be some posts about those later, if I get around to starting them!

Crib Rail Protector

2010-07-21T20:47:00.001-05:00

A while back Ramogi had put a few markks on his crib railing after naptimes and before we'd come in to get him. They were teeth marks, small ones. I looked at rail covers and only saw the plastic ones, which were ugly and didn't seem like they'd stay on or do a while lot of good.

A few weeks went by and I hadn't done anything. Then two days ago I walked in after a nap and saw this.

A massive chew mark on the top and side of the rail! Well, after seeing that I jumped online to find some way to keep him from tearing up the crib. Right away I found some tutorials for how to make your own. You buy a few yards of fabric to match the room, buy some quilted padding to go underneath, sew it up with ribbons and tie it in place. It looked simple enough, but I knew the reality was that it would take me forever to get around to sewing.

So, I kept looking.

And then I happened upon someone selling a tutorial for a no-sew fleece cover. One look at the picture and I didn't need to pay to figure out how to do it. The pictures aren't great, but here's how it turned out.

Here's what I did:
1) Found something to use as padding. We use cloth diapers and I have a ton of them, so I doubled some up to use as a pad.
2) With the padding included, I measured around the rail (and the padding).
3) I also measured the inside length of the rail, across the front and the side. The side of my crib is 27" and the front is 57". With the padding on my side rail measured 10.5" and the front 7" (The front is skinnier).
4) I included extra length to have room to make ties, double-knotted. Depending on how you cut the fleece, you may or may not have stretch and give to your fabric. It's probably best not to have stretch so that it stays the way you intend it. In that case, add 5-6" per tie for 10-12" of extra fabric beyond your measurements. So, my side rail pieces were each 27" x 21" and the front was 57" x 16". (I should have gone longer on the front rail, but it ended up working.)
5) I used some masking tape to hold the diapers/padding in place, cut out my pieces and tied them on. I had it all done in a short time and for cheap. The diapers were no cost (and you probably have something around your house you don't use that can work as padding) and I used just over a yard of fabric. The fleece was $6.99/yd and on sale for 30% off. So my grand total was a bit over $5. Yay for cheap!!

The ties allow you to attach toys or any other things you may keep in the baby's crib. BTW, I had toys all up and down the rail before he "took the bite" and it didn't dissuade him! I've learned my lesson. With AJ I'll attach a crib protector as soon as she's standing and BEFORE she leaves her mark!

I came in today after both naps and found wet spots where Mogi had been teething the rail, but on the protector, not the wood!

Cucumbers

2010-07-20T21:26:00.001-05:00

For the second year in a row my mom has started a itty-bitty veggie plot outside my kitchen window. Its probably 3x8 feet. This year we have tomatoes and cucumbers. The herbs didn't take for some reason. Anyway, we take turns caring for it and enjoy what it produces. Here's what I brought in today. On a good day I usually get 2, three at most so I'd say the rainstorm this weekend did us good. have any good cucumber recipes to share?

Crunch Time

2010-07-18T22:14:00.001-05:00

The end of the semester is nearing for me. That means that "crunch time" is upon me and all the responsibilities of my life are about to converge. My hope is to gracefully emerge from the next few weeks with my sanity, grades, and marriage relationship intact, but that isn't always the case.

The end of last semester, which also coincided with the end of my first trimester of pregnancy, didn't go so well. I got all the work done, but barely preserved my sanity in the process.

Tomorrow's the 19th and in 10 days I have to give a presentation for my only on-campus class. It's not a big presentation, just 15 minutes, and there's no paper to write, so in the grand scheme of things, its not so bad. But, there is a ton of research to be done for the project I am presenting, regardless of its length. I have 20 journal articles to pour over and gather research for a meta-analysis. The data gathering alone may take me an hour for each article, so maybe 20 hours. And then there's running results and putting together the presentation, probably another 20 hours. Now, if I were on campus for 40 hours a week I could have it done by Friday without too much hassle. But, such is not the life I have chosen, or have access to.

I have a sitter scheduled for two 3-hour blocks this week; it's summer semester and the pickings are slim. I may be able to get her to come for another block depending on what the end of the semester is like for her. And Hubs may be able to help some when he's home Friday, depending on what his own schedule looks like. So, I may get 15 hours of child care covered.

Any other time I find to work will have to be during naptime. I could say that I'll do some work after the Mogi boy is in bed, but being pregnant, that just isn't realistic. Especially if I've been chasing him all day as primary caregiver, demolition stopper, and feeding machine. It's a lot more likely that when he goes to bed I'll crash on the couch with a bowl of ice cream and then go to bed myself.

Oh, did I mention he's teething? The last few days have been overly demanding, compared to his usual personailty. Things I could usually distractic him from and he'd find something new to play with have been rationale for full-scale, lose-your-cool meltdowns. And the clinginess factor is way up.

So, although I said naptimes were when I'll be studying, they are unlikelikely to be as productive as hoped for several reasons: 1) Naps can be a lot less predictable when teething is involved. Two hour naps can become 1 hour naps and naps can be boycotted altogether. 2) The mom guilt factor skyrockets when he's teething and I hate to leave him with someone else. I know, I know, guilt is self-defeating, But, none-the-less, its an emotional battle that takes a toll on me. 3) By the afternoon naptime the likelihood that I need a nap increases 20-fold during teething season.

So, wish me luck. Pray that the grace of God be upon me. That I have the physical strength to care for my son, keep our house running, and get my research done. And that when I do research I am amazingly productive! Oh yeah, and when I reach the other side of this project that I don't owe my husband a thousand apologies for being cranky and short-tempered!!

Kids Car Seats

2010-07-17T22:17:00.044-05:00

So I found would I thought would be a great deal on the Sam's Club website: a convertible carseat that normally sells for $159 selling for $95, shipping included. I read the reviews, most seemed good, so I made the purchase. The seat is a Safety First Alpha Omega Elite.

I thought it would be great to use for AJ. It had a girly, plaid design and fit from 5-100lbs, rear-facing, forward-facing, and booster seat. I bought it, it came in the mail and it was adorable. But, I decided that before I had it too many days I should try installing it in the car. See, a couple reviews said they couldn't sit it in their car. Honestly, I didn't think this would be an issue. I mean, I drive a mini-van. Everything fits in a mini-van, right?

Ugh, apparently not! I'm pretty good with the whole carseat installation thing. So, its not like it was the person who has never seen one trying to put it in.

I read the directions carefully before beginning and then headed to the car for the install. I got in okay, but it surely wasn't leveled. When I leveled it, I either had to push the front passenger seat WAY up, so that no one would be able to use it, or I had to lay the seat down, nearly horizontal. That would have made the third row unusable. I even tried removing the base, which is recommended for "narrow" vehicles.

I showed it to my husband to see his reaction, and he agreed that it wasn't a good choice. So, sadly, I boxed it back up and headed to Sam's to get my full refund.

We've decided to put Mogi in our "extra" seat and use his for AJ. The extra is a Cosco Scenera. functional, just with zero butt padding, so we'll need to find a way to soften it up if he'll be in the car for any time. It's likely that at his current rate and growth curve, he'll outgrow the 40lb weigt limit on the Scenera by his second birthday. Unless we have to make a change before then, I guess we'll buy a belt-positioning booster for him, which are a lot cheaper anyway.

You may wonder why I don't use the Scenera for AJ since butt padding isn't an issue a 10 lb newborn needs. That would lead me to why the is no longer Scenera our primary seat. It has high sides, as opposed to our Eddie Bauer Deluxe Convertible Carseat. The Scenera was very difficult to get a sleeping infant our of without waking them.

We never made the investment in an infant car seat. And no knowing if there will be other infants after AJ to use it, I'm not sure its a good investment at this point either... The idea of spending the same amount of money on something that only rear-faces up to (maybe) 35 lbs versus something that has three stages and lasts up to 80lbs is hard for me to agree to. And having back problems, not having the removable seat means I can't take it out and lug it around, which is a good thing for me.

Any thoughts on a great carseat? Have one to share about that's within a smaller budget, say less than $150. What kind of car do you drive?

Just a random last minute thought, but... We've committed to keeping kids rear-facing as long as we can given the seat's weight limit. Lots of kids get turned around at 22lbs, which although legal, isn't in anyones best interest. Maybe kids get turned around too soon because the covertible seats are just too big to fit well in cars? Any thoughts? Comments?

It's a GIRL!

2010-06-28T11:32:00.000-05:00

Almost two weeks ago now we had our "anatomical" ultrasound. I was a little over 19 weeks with Baby 2 and felt like we'd been waiting forever to find out the sex. I wasn't really sure what I thought, whether it was a boy or girl. Of course I thought having a second boy might be easier, since we'd been down that road before. But, I had to admit, the thought of a laid back, no fuss girl was pretty appeasing too. (I was one of those "entertain yourself, hardly make a peak, look at cross-eyed is the only discipline needed" kind of girls). Everyone around me, except my doctor, seemed to think I was having a girl. And my best friend was desperate for me to have a girl, someone to pass on her "fashion sense" to.
The tech didn't take much time building up our suspense and quickly told us we were having a girl. Did I mention that Mogi, my parents, and sister-in-law accompanied us? They were all invited, of course! I got a lot of "I knew it" after that. But, I'm happy to know. Happy to be able to call her by name. That afternoon we had planned a trip to Babies R Us and I bought her an adorable set of dresses for next summer. And a package of hair ribbons. No one's going to mistake this girl for a boy!
Then later that night, a friend whose daughter was born last Fall came by and dropped off a HUGE bag of girl clothes. So, AJ's set for her first 6 months of life! I certainly don't ahve to spend any time clothes shopping for at the consignments this fall. What a blessing of time and money saved!
The only downside was the tech didn't take any good pictures of AJ! We have an okay video, which doesn't seem compatible to post on U-Tube, or I would. There's 4 pictures and they're all of the back of her head! (Sad face.) We got a glimpse of her profile in the video and its just like her brother. Same sweet lips and nose. She did say she was moving a lot, so maybe that was the culprit? She's been moving a good bit lately. Not fierce like Mogi was, but moving plenty.
Well, 18 weeks or so and we'll get to see you face-to-face, Baby Girl. Your mama can't wait!

Pulled Pork BBQ in Slow Cooker

2010-05-28T11:29:00.000-05:00

I was looking for a recipe to make a ton of pulled pork BBQ. I wanted to use the slow cooker since its hot around here and I don't need the house any hotter. My friend Liz shared this link with me from Publix and I'm so glad she did! It was yum!

I followed the recipe except that I used an 8 lb Boston Butt in my 7 Qt slow cooker. It cooked on High for 5 hours and then Low for 3 hours. Hubby is still talking about (and eating) how juicy and tasty it is. If you're not a big BBQ sauce fan, I'd leave the bottle of sauce out of the recipe. The beef broth, garlic, onion, vinegar and brown sugar give enough flavor.

I've made a variety of bean, potato and pasta salads as sides. I'll try to get those recipes up soon.

Teeth

2010-05-28T11:17:00.000-05:00

Just a word of encouragement for those of you whose child has had awful teething- it can get better. Each teething episode has been a little easier on Ramogi. The first two were horrible-crying and clinging for 2 weeks prior to break-thru, short naps, difficult to put down for naps, not wanting to eat... I pretty much took two weeks off work to hold him. It was impossible to work during naps because by the time he went down I was exhausted from all the work it took to get him down and then he'd only sleep 45 minutes, not his usual 90.

The next four came close together and were difficult, but not for the same extended period of time.

With teeth 7 and 8 (he always gets his in pairs with one side being a day behind the other) he was in pain after they broke through. No problems with naps, just more agrivated than usual, eating less/drinking more, and chewing on his finger.

In the last few days 9 and 10 have arrived. Its harder to know because you can't see them and I'm no fool to be putting my hand near his mouth. last time I did that to give him a taste of food he clamped down and didn't let up! But this AM Romanus bravely put his finger in "the trap" to massage his gums and found that an upper pre-molar has broken through on each side. We knew he was teething because he is eating less/drinking more, seems to be fussier and is chewing his thumb. Glad to know they've arrived and hope he's back to his unteething self soon. Also glad that he's not a basketcase becasue of it anymore.

Things we'll reuse with AJ

2010-05-28T11:04:00.003-05:00

Stuff I already have that I'll be able to reuse:
- Breastpump. A Medela electric double pump that made it possible to bf Ramogi twice as many months. Highly recommended and worth the bucks for anyone who wants to bf and have a life that requires them to be away from baby at times. Purchase it from Day 1 and get help from a lactation specialist if needed. Just my two cents!
- Moby wrap. This is supposed to be one of the easiest to use and bf in. Plus, its really soft and comfy, and can be used by different people with out resizing.
- Swaddle. If Dos is anything like Ramogi, we'll be using the variety of SwaddleMes we own for the first four months at every nap and all night long.
-Convertible Car Seat. Ramogi ourgrew an infant seat at 6 months, so we have two convertible seats and we'll use one with Dos. We may end up buying a second Eddie Bauer Convertible at some point because its such a great seat and the other is pretty basic.
-Infant Swing. We used this a lot with Ramogi, especially in the first three months. After that he'd just about grown out of it.
-Infant Seat/Rocker. This was a great find on consignment for $5. Baby can be straped in and then we can bring him/her up to table level when we eat or just for lounging around.
- Cloth Diapers. We bought cloth diapers and use them with Ramogi and with the new baby. We have 8 Blueberry diaper covers and 3 sizes of prefolds, 2 dozen of each. We also have 7 Haute Pockets which are as simple as a disposable. We mainly use them for babysitters and taking to the church nursery.
- Toys. Over the next few months I plan on putting away more of Ramogi's toys that will be good for the new baby. There's lots of stuffed/stroller/car seat toys that are out but he doesn't play with anymore. That way if he sees Dos with them he won't be as inclined to take them, I hope!
-Pack N Play. Like I said in a previous post, we ahve two of these and the one with the bassinet we'll use in our room when baby is born and then as a crib until Dos hits the weight limit.
-Infant bath tub. Our current tub is big enough for Ramogi, but has a recline for newborns that can be set inside. We'll use this for both of them as long as possible since we only have showers in our house, no baths!

Lots of our things have come from consignment sales. As long as it is washable/disinfectable and not a safety device, I usually purchase used. By safety device I mean car seat. Most of Ramogi's toys and clothes have come from consignment and several big ticket items (Pack N Plays, strollers, monitor). It's saved us A LOT of cah that way. If we have to buy new, I research which item I want and wait for it to go on sale.

Dos (Babe Numero Dos)

2010-05-28T10:16:00.001-05:00

Not that it's any of your business, but YES, this child was a well-calculated, intended plan on our part. : )

The kids will be nearly 17 months apart in age. Having grown up with my brother just 16 months younger than me, it wasn't a scary idea. And, Ro's siblings are all close in age, all 7 of them. So, we liked the idea of kids growing together, being playmates, having similar friends, etc... Plus, we're no "spring chickens", so the throught of waiting years only to do the whole pregnancy/newborn phase again made me not so happy. If I'm this tired now, how tired will I be at 35? And as my best friend points out, as far as obstetrics is concerned, I'm almost considered a geriatric! Yikes, isn't that comforting.

We find out in 2 weeks if we're having a boy or girl. Part of me wanted to keep it a surprise until delivery day and part wanted to know immediately. But, we will be finding out. Hubster can't bear the thought of not knowing if we are able to find out.

Of course, I've been sorting through the "what do we need to buy in order to have two little ones?" From the top of my scattered memory, here's what I've come up with.
1) A double stroller. Yes, this is first on my list. I stroll Ramogi everywhere because as his first birthday approaches, so does the 30 pound mark. He's built like a brick and will barely be walking when Dos arrives. I've decided on the Sit N' Stand Double. If you're investigating, they have the original, the double, and the double plus. The Double is actually more spacious than the Double Plus- go figure. The back seat eventually removes so the platforms can be used for standing or sitting as kids grow. I think this will let us use it for the longest period of time. Its reasonably priced (for strollers) and manuveurs well. Target and Babies R Us both carry the latest style- Green Tea.

2) A second pack n play. Our first one has a bassinet that we'll use as the baby's bed for several months. And we were able to get a second basic one for Ramogi to use. So...check.

3)Second crib. I'm not sure Ramogi will be ready to move out of his crib until after his 2nd birthday, so we'll probably need two for a while. A friend is likely to pass hers along to us, so we can avoid the expense! So...check!

4) Clothes. Because the kids will be born in different seasons, we will need some new clothes most likely. And if we have a girl, we'll need girlie clothes. Boy or girl, I plan on dressing them in Ramogi's sleepers for the first few months to get us through winter. So, I don't have to worry about this for a while. I guess I'll buy a girl some hair bows so I don't get asked her gender!

5)Bottles. I intend to breastfeed again for as long as possible given our life, but I also pump for the sake of my sanity. I'm realizing the bottles I bought out of necessity (I didn't want to spend much $ and wasn't sure if some were worth the hype) were more work than they were worth. My sister-in-law was here a few weeks ago with our 4 month-old neice and they had a wide-mouth Avent. The vent worked great and it was much easier to clean. I think I'll buy 2 of those and toss the rest to Goodwill.
- Infant car seat. We used an older one with Ramogi. I would like a newer one to use but the idea of spending a ton for something we'll use a short time is depressing. I'm hoping I can rent one from a friend to get us through winter and then switch to the convertible seat by March.

Back at It

2010-05-27T10:34:00.000-05:00

Hmm... A three month hiatus. When I started back to write this blog I said myself that I wasn't going to start writing only to disappear again. And then it happened!

Well, it wasn't that I just stopped writing. I had good reason, I promise. I got pregnant! And man, did that pregnancy tiredness, not-a-spare-ounce-of-energy hit me like a ton of bricks. And you should be glad I haven't "been around" the last few months. I've been so drained that I haven't been a whole lot of fun. Well, that's a nice way to put it. I've been a downright miserable grouch a lot of days.

You see, having been pregnant before I knew I'd be exhausted. And, theoretically, I knew it would be harder having Ramogi, since I can't just sleep and escape reality whenever I please. But, it was a whole lot harder to actually do than I wanted to believe.

And add to that the fact that I was in school full-time. But, I only had part-time help with Ramogi, so I was cramming a full work week into 16 hours. And it was Romanus's last semester in school, which was easier and harder all at the same time. And I could continue this list, but its getting pathetic...

So, when I was pregnant with Ramogi and could barely function, I'd wonder aloud how women feel like this, have other children and also work full-time outside the house. The answer I got was "You do what you have to do."

In my world that translated to: "You feed your child, make your husband fend for himself most days, do what you have to keep the house from collapsing, sleep when possible, 'fake the funk' when in public, and behave like a 'crab-apple' in private." Again, it was not pretty!

So, I feel like I'm on the other side of that. I've made it through the first trimester. Romanus graduated and starts his new job next week. And, by the sheer Grace of God, Ramogi didn't start crawling until a few weeks ago. If he'd gone mobile before then, I'd have ended up in the looney bin! But, we've made it to the "other side."

I'm in class this summer, but this is my last semester of classes! That in itself is enough to make me cheer. I never thought I'd finish my coursework. And just in case your curious, having Ramogi didn't put me very behind in that arena- one, maybe two semesters. Not a bad trade-off in order to have our boy!
I'm still working from my home office with part-time help to care for Ramogi. I desire to be his primary caretaker, so this situation works for us. I know we all have different calls on our lives and I believe his care to be my first vocational calling. The "other stuff," aka PhD, is important, but its got to be secondary to him and my roles at home.

I'll sign off with a big shout out to my husband and parents. My fabulous Hubster calmly dealt with my chaotic emotions and frailty these past few months. He also never ceases to be a generous, involoved, and loving dad to our son. And all his hard work paid off as I got to see him cross the stage and receive his diploma. You're a rockstar and I love you immensely : )
And to my parents for being around quite a bit these days, helping take care of Ramogi and loving him well. Thank you!

More Teeth

2010-03-05T20:45:00.001-06:00

Things are going well with school, when I'm able to focus on it, but poor Mini-Man has had the teeth troubles! Tooth #5 and possibly #6 have broken through. But he is so distressed by the pain that he won't let me near his mouth most of the time.

The whole house has been put on antibiotics and Mini-Man and I are finished with our courses. No sniffles or coughs or green gunk here. Halleluiah!!!

Next week I'm giving a seminar on my proposed research for my department. At this point I feel wholly unprepared and nervous. It doesn't help that I'll be going first out of my peers who all signed up for later weeks. Laughably, I reserved Spring break to present, not realizing it was Spring Break! So, I had to take the only date left, the first! At least I'll have it done and the stress behind me, but my selfish pride would really like to "Wow" or at least placate my committee and the others that attend. Oh, prideful self, how I despise you so!!

There is more I should be writing about: a continuation of "Where I Am Write Now" with some details on all I have been sorting through in the priorities of life and these callings/roles placed on me and what the awesome grace of God through Jesus Christ has been teaching me over these last weeks. But, my time seems brief so I will get to it soon enough.

Oh, and there have been some sweet moments this week with Mini-Man, when he's not in pain. He's really started waving; hello, goodbye, at random people in the store, at the dog. He's also started reaching out when he wants you to pick him up or take him. I can't put into words how it makes my heart leap for my little boy to reach over to me so I can pick him up. Moments like that just fuse into my mind: "This is for real. He is ours. We get to keep him. How can we be so amazingly blessed?"

The Winter "Plague"

2010-02-22T21:16:00.002-06:00

Well, I seem to have lost momentum on posting. Quite a bit of that has to do with our house being plagued by winter colds. For some 5 weeks now, Mini-man and I have been experiencing a variety of cold symptoms that come and go at will. On top of this Mini-man is teething. Two weeks ago teeth #3 & #4 broke through. I was hoping that would bring some relief to him, but it really hasn’t. Guess there are more teeth there working their way through.

Last week, after a 30 minute long coughing session, I decided it was time to see the doctor. Turns out my cold had transformed itself into an infection. I hope these antibiotics fix what ails me, but at the moment they’re only making my stomach churn and I’m still waking in the mornings feeling like I’m drowning in an ocean of fluids. Yuck!

Mini-man had a running nose reappear last Saturday. It was infrequent, but it would really get going when he cried. And, poor boy, he has been chewing like crazy, so I know his teeth are giving him fits. But then yesterday, he was really unhappy and when I gave him something to chew, he pushed it away! He’d napped fine and wasn’t hungry, so I thought a walk would be good. But, as I put him in the stroller, I realized he felt warm and was a bit lethargic/limp. It took Hubby and I both to distract him/hold him down to get his temperature, but sure enough, it was 100.9°. After a call to the nurse, we re-dosed him with Tylenol and tried to get his mind off his discomfort. He ended up going to sleep at 5:30pm, waking at 9:45pm for a bottle and then sleeping until 7:30 this morning.

A trip to the doctor confirmed an ear infection and he’s on antibiotics to speed recovery. I’m really praying that the meds help us “perk-up” around here. I have been so tired that it’s really hard to get “it” all done. A lot of things have to get cut back and just narrow in on what is most essential and important. I don't know how my professors perceive it, but I've just had to be real honest that my son is sick and I may need to stay home with him. I emailed one professor 3 days prior to exam to let him know Mini-man was sick and if he was better I would need to take the test at an alternative time when someone could stay with him that he is comfortable with. I would guess moms using day-care have to do the same things. I'm positive you can't send a sick child to day care.

I have grand intentions to get up at 5:45am, shower, eat breakfast, and study the Bible before Mini-man wakes up, but the reality is that I’m barely out of bed when he wakes up. And on the days, like today, where I don’t have a Quiet Time of Bible study and prayer before the day begins, and then all kinds of things become distractions and I never stop for prayer and study…

So, when I find myself (on this day of no Quiet Time) battling feelings of doubt, depression, frustration, and tiredness that all come in waves, I really shouldn’t be surprised.

Forgive me, Lord; for living today as if You don’t really matter.

Forgive me, Lord; for trying to do this/life, in my own strength.

Thank you, Lord; that your mercy is new each morning.

Heal me, Lord; from this illness in my body that continues to make me feel weary.

Help me, Lord; to wake tomorrow with a renewed body and a spirit determined to seek you first, regardless of all the urgent and important things that come up!

Kachumbari

2010-02-12T08:59:00.002-06:00

A delicious side or salad to go with main entrees. Similar to homemade, fresh salsa.
1 med. onion, finely chopped or thinly sliced
1 green chili pepper, finely chopped
2 tomatoes, thinly sliced and chopped
1/2 bunch of cilantro
Juice from 1/2 lime (to taste)
salt
Combine all the ingredient in a sealed container and let sit overnight or longer. Stir every 6 hours or so. Add more lime and/or salt after 12 hours, if needed.

Kenyan Recipes

2010-02-11T17:32:00.001-06:00

My loving Hubby promises he knows how to cook the food of his homeland, but he can't tell me how he just has to do it. Or so he says. I did do some cooking in my mother-in-law's kitchen, but not enough to learn all I wanted. I found some great recipes a few years ago on the website of a Kenyan caterer, but now I can't find the site to reference these. You'll just have to believe me that they're yummy!

Chapati

4 c. flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1 1/2 c. coconut milk
1/4 c vegetable oil

Sift flour. Combine milk and salt and add to flour. Knead. Divide into 8 balls. Roll out balls, brush oil onto circle and roll into 'sausage'. Coil into wheel and roll out. Put oil onto one side, fry, and repeat.

Bread machine variation: I put flour, salt, and cocunt milk, plus 2 T. oil into bread machine on dough cycle. I then divided into balls, rolled out and fried with melted butter flavor Crisco on each side. The machine saves a step and lots of time.

Baby Boy aka Mini-Man

2010-02-08T22:29:00.004-06:00

8 months since the day you were born... You've turned our world upside down and made our hearts overflow with joy. Mini man, we love more than you can imagine. Love Baba na Mama.

Hope

2010-02-07T14:37:00.001-06:00

I was blessed beyond measure at our church service today. Encouraged and uplifted by the music and corporate worship, renewed and revived by the ferverent reminder to love one another, just all around blessed. It was as if in the midst of it the Lord was whispering to me, "Hope, there is hope, tell them that there is hope."

The truth is: there is hope, and there is always hope.

Lately, some horrible, life-changing things have been going on in the lives of people near and often dear to me. Two young wives diagnosed with aggressive cancers, one lost her brave battle after two-plus years of fighting, another's journey has just begun. A former professor lost his battle to cancer at 38. Others have buried children, dealt with sicknesses that have left loved ones permanently harmed, multitudes suffer silently through miscarriages and infertility. An economy has left others jobless, unable to pay bills, unsure how they will stay in their homes or feed their families.On top of that there are the "other-inflicted" wounds of murder, rape, and all kinds of violence that happen every day.

It's enough to leave one's head spinning. To make you want to hide under the covers and never come out. At times I am tempted to be overwhelmed. I hear news of suffering and start to become fearful, or wonder how someone will be able to "carry on" in such circumstances. And then I remember...

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship."
Romans 8:15

"28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. 29For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.

31What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written:

"For your sake we face death all day long;

we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."[l] 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 8:28-39

There is reason to hope and a capacity for hope no matter the circumstances and it is found in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Again, no matter what you are going through there is Hope- hope in Jesus.

He who lived a life without sin and voluntarily died a death on the cross also rose from the dead, conquering the grave and is now in Heaven. He has promised that those who take the free gift of eternal life that he offers will be with him forever.

This world does not spin helplessly and hopelessly out of control. As difficult as it may be to understand at times, God is in control. He works all things out for his purposes, which are always good, regardless of how it may seem to us.

Would you ask him today to show you how is working everything for your good?

If you do not have the hope that comes from being In Christ, would you ask Him to make himself known to you?

Would you like to know God?

Meal Planning for Time Saving

2010-02-05T17:05:00.002-06:00

"Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternla life, which the Son of Man will give you." John 6:27 NIV of The Bible

My friend Ashley over at Clay Woman shared some ideas about meal planning and grocery shopping once-a-month for time saving. While I had been doing once-a-week shopping, she spurred me on to spend a few more minutes thinking about it and less time in the grocery store. I found a few things helpful, so I thought I'd share them.

My goals were
1) Not have a house devoid of food or supplies and be asking my husband yet again, "what do you want to eat? I have to order pizza/go shopping."
2) Plan meals that were simple to cook, healthy, low-budget, lasted for multiple meals and tasty.
3) Never go to fix a meal only to find out I had fogotten to buy half of what I needed to fix it!
4) Minimize our overall food budget, both home-cooked and eating-out.

What works for me:
1) I print out these handy calendars from Calendars That Work. You can pay a small fee and get all that you want or go back every few months to get another (or make something similar yourself).

2) I then add three sections to the workspace. One to keep track of money spent on groceries, a second for money spent eating out, and a third for the meals that I will fix (and buy groceries for).

I start my monthly calendar before the month ends, adding which meals I will make. Lots of these will be replicated from other months.
When I go grocery shopping, I add my expenses to the calendar and where I spent the money.
After eating out, I add the location and total cost to the calendar. This helps curb my desire to eat out when I realize how recently we last ate out. (We try to go out for lunch, this is much cheaper and easier to bring along our son as a family outing.)

3) I have staples that I always buy when they run out, not just when they appear in a recipe. This list wil differ for every family. Here are some of mine: Spices (black pepper, salt, crushed red pepper...), minced garlic, milk, butter, lunch meat, lunch cheese, crackers, coffee creamer, coffee, cereal, flour, brown sugar, vinegar, baking soda, dish detergent... you get the idea.

4) I fix each meal to have left-overs. I aim for 6-8 servings from each meal. This means I typically cook 10-12 times a month! Lunchs are usually leftovers or sandwiches. If you have a husband who won't each leftovers, I have no help for you. Maybe he wants to do half the cooking? All I can say is leftovers are everyones friend, at least the second time. By the fourth time, maybe not. But, make things that freeze well and when you're sick of them, freeze tham and bring them out in a few weeks!

Where I am 'Write' Now (pt 1)

2010-02-05T16:38:00.002-06:00

'Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evel for evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.' 1 Peter 3:11 NIV of The Bible

It's a new year! I am taking classes on campus, four classes to be specific. It's a whole lot more than I'd like to be taking, but I'll be glad to have them done when I get to the end of the semester.

Truth is, I feel pretty overwhelmed some days when I think about all my responsibilities and 'hats'. And as I look around for role models, it seems pretty hard to find other women doing the same 'thing.' I guess that is a big reason why I decided to start back on this blog. Recently, I went 'googling' trying to find any resources for women who were working on advanced degrees and had children. I found a few bits but nothing was especially helpful. It's frustrating for me to feel like I'm the only person who is trying to get a PhD and be the primary caretaker for thier child. I know I'm not the only one... So where is everyone else?

The technology is available to put myself "out there", so I'm going to try. Maybe if I make some discoveries on how to do this while being the best possible student and mom that I can be, the evidence will be here to pass along to others that attempt the same noble feat.

I am currently a bit isolated from others in my department. Some of this is self-imposed. I (my husband and I) did not want to rely on full-time daycare as the means of caring for our son while I continued working on my degree. This something I felt strongly about long before I had children. I couldn't imagine carrying him with me 24/7 throughout my pregnancy, then care for him around the clock post-partum, and choosing after a maternity leave to turn over to daycare workers for 40 hours a week. I (We) wanted to be the ones he spent the vast majority of his time with. I know for many couples this is there only option, but we felt like we needed to do otherwise.

So, for my first semester back after having Ramogi, I would work while he took naps. This meant I worked from home and was away from the company of my peers and professors. Some days this was incredibly difficult, other times it worked smoothly. My son is a great sleeper and when I started back to research/work he was napping 6 hours a day. If I worked through 4 of those hours, I was doing really well. Unrealistically, I first thought I would work 6 days a week. Truth be told, I was still thinking of myself as a full-time student and a full-time mom. As my frustration would mount that I couldn't get enough done, or my son didn't sleep well on a given day, I saw my folly.

I CANNOT be both a full-time mom and student. I had to chose one or the other. Well, that was easy, I had already chosen to be a full-time mom. Now I had to figure out how to be a part-time student.

Some thoughts/advice as of today with an 8 month-old and 2 years in to a PhD program:

1. Make sure that you chose an advisor who is supportive of family and will not question your decision to put family first. If you already have an advisor and are just now bringing up the subject, steel yourself to be firm on your priorities.

2. Have a plan on how you expect to manage family and school, and then have a back-up plan. (I had every intention of taking a full courseload through my pregnancy, but was nearly disabled and physically overwhelmed through much of it. Instead of completing 18 hours as planned, I completed 12. But, I've adjusted and am only one semester behind in coursework.)

3. Even if you can do work/research from home and will be the primary care for your child(ren), still plan to ahve some help. There will be projects that require large blocks of time. You will need to elave the house to go to a meeting or see someone face-to-face. Don't wait until it comes up to get help. Schedule and find help now. Make a regular plan to use help so that they are always there and you can rely on them. Piece meal help is nice when something occassionally comes up, but trying to beg someone every other Thursday to take your son so you can go to seminar will just get exhausting and stressful. Find some reliable and keep them!

Back in the Saddle

2009-05-01T14:53:00.003-05:00

Well, I stopped writing for quite a while. But, now that I'm wrapping up school assignments for the summer, I better get going again.

There are a little less than 7 weeks until Ramogi's due date and it feels very far away. I've had a good bit of aches and pains throughout the pregnancy, but lately it seems like this body of mine has just run out of room. So, if Ramogi made his arrival a week or two early, I'd be very excited. I know its all in the Lord's timing, but mommy's getting cranky! : )

Romanus finishes exams in 3 days and then we have almost 3 weeks before summer semester starts. It will be wonderful not to have the pressure of school for a short while.

Lots of fun things coming up... childbirth class, baby shower, my cousin's wedding...

I'll do better with posting and get some recent pictures taken!!

Here's one taken by the fantastic A. Arbo at our home on March 29th, 2009. I was almost 29 weeks.

Thanksgiving

2008-11-24T16:26:00.002-06:00

It seems like such a long time since I wrote. Things have been busy with school, wrapping up assignments prior to the week-long break my university affords.
I've spent the weekend enjoying being around the house and doing some cooking finally. I really enjoy cooking, but when school has me stressed thin its just "one more thing" on the to-do list. Hubby has been grateful for the return of cooking since he's a bit, well extremly, "disabled" in that arena.

Tomorrow night my parents arrive for a long holiday weekend. But, before that I have scheduled a lunch date with two people very dear to me to share our happy news. My Grammy, adopted in love, and her daughter have been family to me across the years. I know they have been praying for us and eagerly awaiting the news of our child. And now the time has come to share it! I'm so excited and I know they'll guess before I get to say anything.

After that I have my monthly doctor's appointment. I'm not really sure what goes on since there's no sonogram to take. Guess I'll just wait and see! I have gained around 2 pounds in the last few months and it's all in my belly. (I know this because my pants fit until I get to the waistline!) So, the belly is becoming more obvious, especially with any fitted clothes. I've started to buy a few maternity clothes here and there as I need. This week it was some shirts that are long enough to tuck in or cover my stomach. Its gotten a bit cold and having a belly hanging out is no fun! I haven't found any pants that fit very well right now, but am hoping to find a few things in the post-holiday sales!

Improvements

2008-11-15T09:50:00.003-06:00

Well, it seems that the nausea has passed, at least for now. It hasn't bothered me this week, and for that I'm grateful. Of course, I wondered at first, "does this mean something's wrong with Bean?" But, everything else is still present and I feel oh so pregnant. It's just nice not to have that swimming feeling.
My exhaustion is still ever-present. My mom assures me that I will be tired for the rest of my life, a condition of parenthood. Thanks for the encouragement mom! But, this is a different kind of tired amplified by the fact that there's a little life in me that I have to think of and care for. So, just pushing through the tiredness isn't an option, obviously my body is in need of something, like rest. And doctoring up on caffeine isn't an option either. So, my old tried-and-true methods are out-the-window and I just have to sleep. Plus, once I've hit my limit it feels as if my eyes are crossing, then a headache begins, and dizziness sets in. Whoah... Even the Army didn't prepare me for this.

On a more positive note: Bean and I got to share our happy news with a few more people this week. I informed my major professor who was glad for us and shared congratulations. (Sidenote: I am blessed beyond measure to have an incredible major professor who always encourages me to put family first. Meaning, if something with family comes up that interrupts another obligation, so be it. I've never felt pressured to make decisions that put school in front of my family responsibilities.)
I also shared with a few office-mates, who are very excited. One of them just found out in the last few days she is pregnant also! So, now we are pregnancy buddies! Yay!

I'm looking forward to spilling the BEAN in the next few weeks and allowing our happiness to be very public. No more hiding my increasingly pudgy belly behind sweaters and layers, unless I so chose!

Not such a good day...

2008-11-06T07:59:00.002-06:00

The physical drain of pregnancy has been much more than I anticipated. (I think I'm repeating myself!) Tuesday I had several projects to work on and classes to attend and so I was on-campus from 8:30am to 4:30pm. Just an average 8 hour day... Ha ha! Lately I haven't had the endurance to spend so many hours at work without leaving to take a nap. But, this day it was unavoidable. So, by the time I left in the afternoon I was wiped out. And when I got home I was too tired to rest, I think the adrenaline was pumping, and too hungry to eat, my stomach was all confused. Eventually I did relax some and eat and went to bed by 9pm, with the motion sickness feeling there the whole time. I thought I'd wake up feeling better and head off to start my next project.
Unfortunately, I woke up yesterday morning feeling like I had already run a marathon. I was EXHAUSTED! I never made it out of the house. I slept another almost 5 hours through the morning and afternoon while navigating some rough stomach issues that lasted the rest of the day. Maybe I was more tired from Tuesday than I imagined. It seems like I'm going to have to do more work from home so I can take a nap in the middle of the day. Only problem is, the software required for my work, and one class in particular, is expensive and requires a large amount of memory, so they are only on my work computer... So, today I'm headed in to work on a class assignment and hoping it goes swiftly so I can come home at lunch time.
With all that said, this Bean better be one cute, happy baby for all this nastiness I'm undergoing. Lord, please create in our baby a pleasant, content personality, at ease with us and our loved ones. AMEN!

Telling

2008-11-02T18:06:00.004-06:00

This weekend my parents came to visit. Not long after they set down their bags we shared our ultrasound video with them. They were so excited and happy! We enjoyed watching Bean's precious heartbeat together and being grateful for this miracle. I know how much their hearts broke with ours when we lost our first.
Then Saturday night we saw my brother (P) and sister-in-law(M) to get to share the news with them. They've only been married six months, so M can't wait to spend time with the baby and hopes it will relieve some of her baby cravings! I didn't have the heart to tell her that it will only make them worse! But, I'm so glad they're here in town and will be able to help us or come to our rescue when we need it.

I've started to gain some weight, exclusively in the belly area. I bought a second-hand pair of jeans that fit, size 8. I just skipped the size 6 completely. Because they're a slim cut they fit everywhere with extra room in the belly. "Ambah" will be glad that I'm going to spend less days in my stretchy work-out pants. It's a little crazy to see the scale increase and not really be sure where the weight coming from or "landing" on my body. Normally, if I had gained 5 pounds in a few weeks I would see changes in my face and hips. But, not now. And its hard to tell if I'm really eating more than usual. With the doctor's advice, I've added a big dose of vitamin B6 to my day. This has helped with the motion sickness-like nausea immensely. But, I still get every other symptom, including needing mass amounts of sleep(~12hr/day). Because of the physical toll of pregnancy being more than I expected and having weeks of nausea, I decided to take "Incompletes" in my classes this semester. This will give me more time to complete all the work while focusing on going to class and the day-to-day assignments until i get out of the first trimester. I'm really glad to have this option and have professors who have been understanding.

Bean O's World Debut

2008-10-28T18:53:00.004-05:00

Today was my first ultrasound at 7w 0d. It was AMAZING! I got to hear Bean O's heartbeat, something I had been eargerly anticipating, and it made me cry. I wanted to jump off the table and do a happy dance and run down the hall yelling at everyone that I just heard my baby's heartbeat, but the technician wasn't a fan of even my squirming. What did she expect? It's a pretty miraculous thing! By the way, Bean O's heart was a healthy 142 BPM!!

Well, here's the pics from Bean O's world debut... I hope you enjoy them as much as I did : ).

Goodness

2008-10-26T13:57:00.002-05:00

One of my very best friends came to visit this weekend. We hadn't seen each other in months during to our busyness and living situations. It was so good to hang out with her. I got to share our good news with her, which she wasn't surprised about! Of course she knew we'd been trying and about earlier loss, and was happy for us. We got to hang out and talk, like "girls" do and had a lot of fun!
We went to a local syrup festival yesterday. Nothing like reveling in local culture. It was more like a Flea Market than Arts and Crafts show, but fun none-the-less. Once we got past all the crazy smells, we ate and then shared a Funnel Cake! Yumm.... Such fried goodness.
I was sorry to see her head home, although I know she has her own life and own responsibilities. I love you friend, come back again soon...

Tuesday is my first ultrasound, and I am eagerly awaiting my appointment. I have been feeling yesterday and today and wonder if its related to the extra B6 I've been taking in a new prenatal vitamin. I hope so, because its so much easier to eat and exercise when I don't feel nauseous! Plus, except for a few pairs of pants that I bought too big, no pants are comfortable on me. Supposedly its unusual to need new clothes this early, but tight pants and nausea don't go well together! And my dear friend that visited told me that work-out pants for the next 9 months was not an acceptable wardrobe, even if pregnancy seems like a decent excuse. : ( Maybe after Tuesday's appointment I'll need to go shopping. : )

Milestone

2008-10-21T20:08:00.000-05:00

Today is the 6 week mark of my pregnancy. I am overjoyed at this milestone. Today I was thinking about how I feel like I've been pregnant so much longer than 6 weeks. I guess the Belly Blues does make time stretch out! We are so thankful for the blessing of this child and HAPPY! We still haven't told anyone yet. Well, I told one friend who I knew miscarried to get some encouragement and advice, which she provided en masse! Other than that, no one knows! Its our own little, happy secret, and I love it...
That does feel a little strange to say since I'm not into secrets and am horrible at keeping anything from my mother, but it is what it is! One of my dearest friends is coming to visit this weekend and I'm planning on telling her when she's here. Next Tuesday I have my ultrasound and then that weekend my parents will be here. We're planning on surprising them with the ultrasound video and I'll call my sister after getting the ultrasound done!
It's all so much fun, now if I can only concentrate as much on my research! Here's to hoping!

Happy Anniversary

2008-10-20T18:47:00.000-05:00

Hubby and I went to the NC mountains this past weekend to celebrate our 5th anniversary. The drive was a bit long, but we had a great time. I had a lot of outdoor activities planned, but the weather, my Belly Blues, and an overactive bladder slowed us down. We enjoyed some beautiful drives through the gorgeous October-colored leaves and got to see the Linville Falls.

We stayed in a cute cabin at an old fashioned Motor Lodge. I liked having a front porch and trees outside, something different than a regular hotel. Hubby was just glad we weren't off in the woods so he didn't have to worry about "getting eaten by bears." Haha!

We enjoyed eating at the local restaurants. We had Thai one night and pizza another. The third day we wandered around downtown and ate snacks and more pizza. Overall, we were able to relax together and just hang out and be together.

Hubby really was wonderful and gave me the best present ever by telling me that he'd chose to marry me again and then got down on one knee and proposed his love again to me! What can I say? There's nothing I'd rather hear!

Being a mom-in-making did leave its mark on the trip. : ) Swinging violently between hungry, full, and nauseous, to racing for a bathroom to relieve my bladder was comical at times. Plus, I was pretty tired. Our first night I fell asleep while Hubby was watching TV, laying on the bed in the clothes I had been wearing all day. Hubby tried to "help" me sleep "properly", but I'd have none of it and stayed that way until morning! What sheer exhaustion can do!

Since we've been back the Belly Blues have gotten the best of me at times, although each day I'm figuring out how to manage a little better. Mornings are hard as I feel queasy and dizzy, so I try and take it easy. From the time I get out of bed until I get back in at night, I eat perpetually. From this alone I figure someone's going to figure out soon that I'm pregnant. And this advice about eating 6 small meals a day instead of 3 in order to feel better is baloney. The thought of eating a meal at all is more than I can handle. I just snack all day long. Saltines when I wake, yogurt and a granola bar gradually with more saltines, around lunch chicken salad on saltines, then an apple or pear and cup of noodles during the afternoon, probably another granola bar on the way home from campus, dinner eaten in stages over an hour or two, and something to snack on right before bed. I also have a drink with me all the time usually very watered down juice. Hopefully I'll get better at handling it as the days pass.

Belly Blues

2008-10-15T19:22:00.001-05:00

I don't like misnomers, and "Morning Sickness" is definitely one, so I've decided to rename it Belly Blues. Maybe it will catch on. Well, I hadn't been feeling any Belly Blues or ickiness at all, until today. I woke up and got the feeling that I needed to eat right away, so I made a PB&J, the usual cereal didn't sound good. But, the first bit was bearable, the second, not so much. Its like the PB was too peanut buttery : \ and the jelly was too sweet. Plus my nose was being super sensitive and everything was a huge hassle; Hubby's wash cloth in the shower, something smelled funny outside, cigarette smell at the gas station. I was not in good shape. So, knowing that I needed to eat SOMETHING, I stopped at the gas station to find something quick on the way to class. 16 saltines and some Ruby Red Grapefruit juice later I was feeling better. Not perfect, but good enough to eat a big meal of BBQ for lunch.
Now its suppertime and I feel okay except I don't have much of an appetite. Hopefully the soup I picked out to eat will actually get eaten!

1st doctors visit

2008-10-14T13:02:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my first doctor's appointment. Mostly medical history and getting blood drawn. All my blood work came back without a problem. I also got this little bag of goodies, most of it was prenatal vitamins that I don't need. But, there was a very neat magazine with all kinds of pictures of the developing baby! Most fun was that my first ultrasound was scheduled for two weeks from today. I can't wait!
I had a cold this past weekend and that seems to be gone. But, I have been so exhausted the last few days. I've been going to bed really early, and then I don't sleep especially well, and then I'm tired all day long. It's beginning to look like a vicious cycle.
This Thursday Hubby and I are headed to NC to celebrate our 5th anniversary. I can't wait. Even if we only stay in the cabin and sleep, I'll be grateful for the rest! But, hopefully we'll get to do some hiking and see Asheville.
Meanwhile my major professor has returned from a month in Autralia and I'm supposed to have some answers on what my dissertation will look like. Except I only have some vague ideas and nothing especially exciting to tell him! : ( Hope our conversation goes well...

Surprise!!

2008-10-10T15:35:00.000-05:00

I don't know about other women, but after being pregnant the first time, it would be really hard to miss those signs a second time. So, can you fathom my surprise when those signs returned 3 weeks after losing my first pregnancy? I really though I must be making it up, that I wanted it so badly that my brain was playing tricks on me. But, I'd been taking my Basal temps and the signs were there too. So, the day before "Aunt Flo" was due, I mentioned it to Hubby. He was watching TV and when I said, "Hey, I think there's a chance I'm pregnant again." He looked at me briefly said, "I'll believe it when I see the test," and turned back to the TV. Well, not exactly the response I hoped for. But, he did say that he'd be very happy and allowed me to express my nervousness.
You see I'd known for five days already that I was pregnant, the way some women just KNOW! Some part of me wanted to keep it completely to myself and tell no one. Maybe, the line in my head went, that will keep my baby safe and I won't lose another one. But, sanity got the best of me and I told him!
That afternoon I bought a test and it came up positive right away. Of course I knew it, but Hubby said " What? No way! How did this happen so soon?" We did a little happy dance together and thanked God for his blessings.
This time I haven't told anyone else yet and neither has Hubby. And I can't say why exactly. Part of me wants to wait until the end of the first trimester so they don't have to wonder if I'm going to miscarry again. Part me of my likes having a secret. Plus, I don't feel anxious this time! In fact, I feel so incredibly free and happy! Its been hard concentrating and I've been drawing smiley face doodles on my notes in class!
I feel great this time. Last time I had a little nauseousness that felt like butterflies in my stomach, I was permanently exhausted, every smell made my stomach turn, and everything I ate gave me indigestion. It's strange to think that two pregnancies so close together could be so different, but they are. This time, I have to make sure there's always food in my stomach and get extra rest and that's about it!

Background

2008-10-08T18:43:00.001-05:00

I signed up for this blog the week after finding out we were pregnant with our first child. That was around Sept. 2nd this year, 2008. We'd been trying for several months and were anxious to finally become pregnant. When it finally did happened we were really happy. I was excited, but it all seemed rather surreal and I was more anxious/nervous than I thought I would be. I couldn't wait to tell my parents and our family. We told my parents over speakerphone two days later and then my sister and brother. Hubby also called his brothers in the US and UK and called Kenya to tell his mom and the rest of the family. Everyone was so happy for us.
Of course, we knew that pregnancy was precarious, especially in the fist few months, but how do you not share something like that. And how do you begin such a huge journey for the first time without the ones you love cheering you one?

Honestly, I felt melancholy. Maybe it was the anxiousness of being pregnant for the first time, wanting all my life to be a mom and it was finally here. But, from day 1 I felt like, "What if this is my last day with this baby?" "What if she/he's gone tomorrow?" I guess I felt scared that the worst might happen.

So when the worst began to happen two weeks after realizing I was pregnant, I freaked. I thought at the first that the bleeding might be nothing, but it didn't go away. There is such a feeling of helplessness. And I was SCARED! Scared to lose this child I loved, scared of where I would be able to handle it.

I called my sister crying. She had lost her second pregnancy in miscarriage. She tried to calm me down. I had been on-campus trying to sit at my desk and be productive while my mind was losing it. I remember saying to my sister, "I just don't know if I have the grace to handle this." I was really afraid that losing this child might make me angry at God and lose hope, that I would become so discouraged that my faith would crack. That scared me more than anything.

In the providence of God, I lost my pregnancy the next morning. It wasn't until it happened that I finally cried again. I had held it together through the night, when I knew it was imminent. I waited a very long hour for Hubby to come from work. I'll never forget the sadness on his face when I told him. I felt as if my body had betrayed me, as if I had become a traitor to myself. But, when I expressed my anguish to him, he lovingly reassured me of the truth and that the Enemy wanted to use those lies to discourage me. I found the strength to call my mom and tell her and she assured me that they would be there in a few hours to help.

Then I had to go to the doctor's for blood work. I knew I had miscarried, they didn't need to do it, but that's how it works. I took my paperwork to the Lab to get my blood drawn with the ugly diagnosis "Unspecified Spontaneous Abortion" written on it. The lab tech saw the form and asked me how I was, I couldn't even make eye contact as the tears rolled down my face. I wanted to look at her and scream "My child was taken from me, how should I feel?" But, she was so kind and hugged me as I wept.

I managed to call my sister and Hubby made all the other difficult phone calls. Thankfully my parents arrived that afternoon. I didn't realize that the physical pain had only yet begun. The next few days were very hard. I stayed mostly in bed and round the house. No one talks about the physical pain of miscarriage, especially when every pain reminds you of your loss.

But, Hubby was so strong, always my hero. He doesn't cry, but did share his emotion and anguish with me, which helped us both heal. he reassured me that this wasn't the end and the Lord cared for us in the midst of this.

The thing that surprised me the most, was how evident God's presence was through all of it. Yes, I was sad. Yes, I was in pain. But, He was there. The discouragement and anger I so feared never came, and when they tried to show their ugly head, by the grace of God, the truth was spoken and they had to flee.

A few days later I decided that I wanted a wind chime to remember our child by. Something musical and beautiful for the front porch that I love so much. After finding a beautiful one, the six of us hung it on the porch and had a remembrance. It was brief but Hubby prayed for us and praised God for who is, despite the circumstances. I was a very proud wife.

As the days went on the physical pain lessened and abated. The emotional pain eased. But, all of this has changed me. I can't say precisely how, but I feel the change. Maybe its a profound awareness of the fragility of life. And now I am able to think sweetly upon the child that would have been and await the day we meet in Heaven.

Introduction

2008-09-02T10:06:00.001-05:00

The term 'mocha drop' is from the song "Black, White, Tan" by artist Nicole C. Mullen. It tells the story of diversity within her family. Since the time I knew that I would spend the rest of my life with Romeo, I knew that one day we'd have a little "mocha drop" of our own. We've been praying and hoping for many years now, me especially! But, I love this song, its really catchy if you've ever heard it, and it sums up our celebration of love!

Here's the lyrics:

Mama looks like coffee,daddy looks like cream
Baby is a mocha drop,American dream
All the colors in the rainbow is in her family tree
Woven altogether in a paisley tapestry
She holds real tightly to her parents' hands
Baby loves that woman,baby loves that man
And her soul gives a smile 'Cause she uderstands
That love is black,white,tan
Yeah black,white,tan

Everyone is precious in the Father's sight
It don't matter red,or yellow,black or white
He just loves you 'cause he loves you
And I tell you this is true
You are not a color and the color is not you
Hold real tightly to your Daddy's hand
Cause He loves that woman,He loves that man
And let your soul give a smile
Every once in a while
Let your soul give a smile
Every once in a while
Let your soul give a smile
Every once in a while'
Cause love is balck,white tan
Yeah i know that love is black,white,tan
Yes i know GOD's love black,white,tan
A little girl will tell youBlack, White, Tan